I wanted to hear from other people about their experiences with memory
care to determine if I'm expecting too much or if my expectations are
within reason.   My family has requested that we be informed of the
following:

-any communication between the facility and Mom's doctor
-any changes in medication
-to be informed of anything that might impact general health and
quality of life

I got in a big fight with the director of health services because it
took two+ weeks to gather a clean urine sample to diagnose and treat a
Urinary tract infection, and they didn't let us know the results or
that Mom was started on penicillin.  It took them three tries to
collect a urine sample because they were contaminated.  I requested
that they let us know if they are having difficulty collecting a sample
so the family could help.

The nurse told me they don't talk to family members about collecting
urine samples because they don't have time and, that I was expecting
more services than what they could provide.

Is it normal to take two weeks to gather a urine sample and to expect
the resident to provide a sample without much cuing, or to be informed
of medication changes and tests?

It seems just about every time I have a concern about what I perceive
are basic services, such as getting the sheets changed on a regular
basis, and taking trash out of my mom's room the nurse and I get in a
heated argument.  She doesn't believe us because Mom has dementia (Yet
she says Mom is capable of providing a urine sample independently) and
is completely defensive.

It doesn't seem that what I'm asking is that out of the ordinary, but
on the other hand most of the other family members at this facility
seem satisfied with the services.