I can tell a few things about frontal lobe dementia - the frontal lobe is
where our inhibitions are "stored" as that starts to deteriorate, a
condition known as dis-inhibition starts and people say and do whatever they
want, whenever they want to -- there's nothing to be done about it as it is
a result of the loss of brain tissue that causes it and, as you know, that
is not reversible.

My best suggestion to you is that you explain what he has to the people he
will come in contact with on a regular basis and that you talk to the doctor
about giving him some kind of anxiety medication so that he will stay calm
and not be as likely to act on the faulty information that his brain is
sending him.

That being said, my mother has frontal lobe dementia too -- and this woman
who wouldn't explain to us what was happening to us when we started to
mature, talks to anyone about sex!!  It's quite a personality change and
difficult for anyone who has known her for a long time to absorb!

I suspect its going to be a lot harder to get him placed in care once he's
out, unless he does something dangerous. I hope I'm not right but I could
see you having to leave for your own safety (from what you previously
posted). he's obviously not responsible for his actions but with no respite
care its going to be very tough. Good luck.

Gosh It must be much worse than Alzheimers....I've had it for 3years I
think...And never act like that.....Have a little memory problem but
would never be mean to my Husband he is so precious to me...did you talk
to his DR. may not be safe to take him home.....

Hi Evelyn

Thanks for you best wishes. They are now saying he doesn't have LBD but
has Frontal lobe dementia so we shall just have to wait and see what
happens.

Hi Denis

They apparently decided that since he was only violent when he was
psychotic at the time, which they feel he is not now, the doctors etc
think he will be OK here.

Today was a much better day and he was much  calmer since I  managed to
get him to leave some things until later, especially since we will be
home all next week he doesn't feel the urgency to do the things he
wants to do.

I do not take on this job lightly and do accept and appreciate your
comments and I will take precautions suggested.

The difficulty in getting him a placement in a hostel or nursing home
is his age and his 'challenging behaviour' as they put it. They are,
quite understandably, protective of the elderly patients in these
places. Our medical system has no provision for early onset dementia,
especially FLD or LBD where there are real behavioural problems. Even
in the mental health area there is no money where needed. In fact he
just rang me to say he has been kicked out of his room and told to
'buggar off' as they have too many patients, even though they know,
based on his med chart, that he was due back tonight.

It is a sad state of affairs let me tell you and his time in the psych
hospital has opened my eyes to just how sad the patients plight is.

I will just see how things go and try to be more patient with him,
which worked well today :) and hope for the best.

Hi,

Have been lurking and wrote a response which was lost when we lost power
from a rain storm while I was writing it. Didn't have the fortitude to try
it again. There isn't a whole lot either encouraging or helpful to add.

FLD is very hard because intellect, attention span, and fact retention are
present longer than in AD. Things still have internal sense and meaning. But
that executive functioning goes first, creating behavioral issues. And once
it goes, it's gone. Oh there may be days when he can make his behavior
conform better then others, but its a slide downhill with no climbing back
up.

As for the lying - None of his behaviors are intentional on his part. They
happen because he no longer has the impulse control and mental 'brakes'
which remind him what he was about to do is unacceptable behavior. There is
no consciousness to it at all.

But now he sees everyone else's reaction and the part of his brain which
process other people's reactions still works. He knows something is amiss
and he knows he needs to give an acceptable response, so he tries to
rationalized (in terms of explain in a manner that has internal logic) what
he did so he can answer what you have asked. He is trying to impose what
sense he has on a situation to which he no longer has the ability to
conform.

It's why FLD's are so hard to deal with. The LO really seems like themselves
in conversation, but then they do and say such aberrant things. And the
hallucinations and compulsive behavior start earlier. So the LO imposes
'sense' onto the hallucination because it must have meaning. Everything has
meaning.

There is also the issue that they begin to lose language earlier - they
can't locate and say the word they really want to use so they have
difficulty saying what they really mean. Many just say anything because they
feel they must say 'something' but can't find the right words. As things
progress, they may not realize they have used an incorrect word. Later on,
they stop speaking and start losing oral motion function (swallowing, etc).

I am worried for Liz because her husband has shown a rebelliousness against
her. Not sure the healthcare people 'get it' that he is controllable when on
carefully scheduled meds. But this distrust issue (paranoia is so typical)
often leads to the LO refusing to take the meds at home. Family members just
don't get that same level of compliance. Once the meds schedule is off, his
behavior will get erratic. It's the exact issue which led to my FIL's
institutionalization (and he was docile 99% of the time. But the 1% could
get pretty hairy).

Liz - I have no further words of wisdom. The suggestion of bringing a
doctor's diagnosis to local law enforcement is good, given the paranoia. The
local police need to know he is mentally unstable and to not believe
accusations he may call with. They will also have a heads up as to Liz's
need for protection.

I think that finding a group which advocates for either the elderly or
mentally ill may be helpful in negotiating placement. While they say you
must post bond, etc. - that may be what most people are required to do. But
bureaucrats are notorious for omitting exceptions which might apply just
because it's easier for themselves. And a consult with an atty to verify
that divorce will leave you in worse shape is important, too. There may be
exceptions there as well.

If not - all we can say is protect yourself as best you can. You will need
to continue with some semblance of health and sanity long after your husband
requires institutionalization.

And we haven't addressed the emotional impact of losing your love - even if
he is not always acting so loving. You need support for that as well.

Take care of yourself!

Adelle

Chris says:
my FIL has Alz and i often think he wants somwhere to direct his anger to,
and he has subconsciously chosen his wife. Not really fair on her her, but he
has to express his anger and frustration at this disease at someone, and
guess she is the most likely candidate.

I have noticed since my Mom is in the nursing home the nurses aides are getting a lot of the anger directed their way and she is pretty friendly to me :). That is really nice. I truly feel like this is working out for both of us. Surprised me, that is for sure.

Les