Janet,
  So sorry to hear of your loneliness.I am so afraid of that myself.But
thanx be to God her passing was so wonderfully easy.I pray thats how it
is for my mom.You take care of yourself now and you will be in my
thoughts.Barb

Janet,
   I lost my brother 8 yrs.ago.And could not believe the pain i felt.I
cried till i was weak and sick.My parents grief was unimaginable.My
heart ached for them more than anything.But it's all part of the
grieving.It will get better.My prayers will be with you,Barb

Janet, you have my sympathy in the loss of your mother and your loneliness
since she's gone from your house.  You don't have to worry about her mind or
body any more; just know that all the illness is gone.  So glad she passed
away so quickly and easily.  May your good memories soon overcome your
grief.
Gwen

My heartfelt sympathies JJ.
Do keep around this newsgroup, your experience may help many. Thanks.

Sincere condolences from here in Australia.Grief certainly is an ever
encompassing emotion
I hope that time will heal this for you.
Michelle

Janet, I apologize for replying to you so long after you posted. I had not
visited the NG in quite some time, so it's only today that I found your
post.

I remember seeing your March post about your mom believing she was living in
her old girlhood home (wasn't that it?) and I offered some thoughts. I also
remember that a few weeks later, you posted that you believed your mother
was near the end, and I recall being surprised that things progressed so
quickly.

So you were very right. She was near the end. I know you're feeling bad now,
but I do want to say 2 things:

1. Her death as you describe it sounds utterly peaceful. Given the
inevitability of death for all of us, I think it's everyone's wish to die
that way...to fall into an easy slumber and just quiety slip away. I don't
think you could ask for more for your dear mom under the circumstances of
her illness.

2. As horrible as it is to lose a parent, and to have a parent afflicted w/
AD, it's much worse, IMO, if the dying process is very protracted and the
poor loved one hangs on for years while his or her mind can make less and
less sense of what's happening as the days and weeks and months pass until
he or she exists in a continual fog. By then, there are lots of different
things that can be going wrong physically/medically and it's such a
nightmare to witness this happening to someone you love.

I've seen 2 people die from from the AD process and in both cases, the
process was fairly protracted. This is especially true of my FIL, who died
in Oct., the year before this last one, and this was years after his family
first began noticing signs of the AD. He spent the last 2 years of his life
in a nursing home and suffered a multitude of afflictions and miseries that
I won't detail. It broke all of our hearts to see him going through
this...it's just so unfair. My FIL was an extremely sweet man and he was a
wonderful father and was so loving to everyone. He was such a good and fine
and decent person...there's just no justice. His doctors told us they
couldn't understand what was keeping him alive by that point. His continued
existance (I won't say survival because I can't call it that) defied medical
explanation in the face of all the things going wrong w/ his body. And he
wasn't subjected to heroic measures either. I guess his body was just
incredibly strong and could take a real beating.

Even the final end was not peaceful...at least not until he at long last
slipped into a coma, dying several hours later. It just stinks that such a
good person could not have had a gentler passing from this world.

My point in all this is just to say, as painful as this has been for you, I
think you're lucky in the sense that your mother's illness seems to have
gone very quickly and that death came gently to her. I think it's important
at such times to look at all the blessings we can possibly see. My own
feeling is that there's nothing to be gained from the body outliving the
mind, and I see it as a blessing that your mother did not go on very long
after she reached a point of being so confused that she had no idea where
she was anymore.

I remember you sharing what a special relationship you and your mother had,
and the depth of love and good will between you. These are wonderful
memories to carry w/ you all your life, and to cherish always. You are so
lucky for that and so was your mom.

I know how hard it is. I lost my own mom almost 6 years ago, and even though
her death was expected and came years after a protracted process of her
health failing, and knowing that she was at last at peace which was a
comfort to all her loved ones, I was surprised at how deep was my grief.

In time, though, it really does get easier. I think of my mom a lot still,
but it's never w/ the rush of anguish and tears that once came inevitably at
my thoughts of her. I miss her a great deal...but the grief is past. And I
know that's the way she'd want it too. You'll get there too.

My thoughts are w/ you,

~katelyn~