best wishes to you janet, and your mother.  I am sure somewhere deep down
inside she feels very lucky to have you and your hubby

i hope this is a peaceful time as you say your goodbyes to her

chris in oz

Dear Janet,

How incredibly fortunate you have been to have had such a wonderful and
loving relationship for all those years with your mom.

I hope her passing is gentle and that your best memories will comfort you
when she is gone.

Janet, I did read your post about your mom thinking she lives elsewhere.
Wow. That was fast. Anyway, I'm glad to hear for your sake and hers that
this difficult problem on which she was stuck is over. That is the one
blessing of this disease, bad as it is. Eventually they do forget the
various things they get hung up on and you move on to the next thing.
Usually, though, it doesn't happen as fast as what you describe w/ your
mother.

It does sound, from what you say, that the end is near. I agree that the
most merciful thing would be a speedy and peaceful end, but I certainly
understand how you feel about just wanting your mother back. As that isn't
going to happen, though, the best thing for everyone (especially for her) is
to have the ordeal over as soon as possible, and as peacefully as possible.
The good thing is, I've read that kidney and heart failure in the elderly is
a very peaceful way to go. I hope it gives you a little comfort then that
your mother's end will probably be a gentle slipping away w/ you, her loving
daughter, at her side to usher her out of this world.

I love what you say about what a good and sweet mom she's been over so many
years and how close the 2 of you always were. You are right that you are
extremely lucky for this. Not too many people can boast of a generally
constant relationship of harmony w/ a parent over a lifetime. I'm glad you
know you're lucky. Your mother is very lucky too. I'm sure you were a great
joy to her all your life. I know how much you will miss her but you're lucky
to have so many years of happy memories to cherish the rest of your days. I
hope they will be a comfort to you when she's gone.

Take care, and blessings to both of you.

~katelyn~

Dear Janet,

I'm sorry your mom is at this stage. It sounds like you have had a wonderful
relationship all these years and her memory will always be a blessing for
you.

If it's any consolation, passing from kidney failure is a fairly quiet thing
with little pain. It is how my father passed.

We had help from hospice in those last days and they were wonderful during
that emotionally difficult time. Their focus is respecting the patient,
supporting both the patient and the family and helping the family process
the experience. If hospice services are available in your area, I urge you
to avail yourself. If your mom has Medicare, they should pay for the
service.

Kidney failure is very quick, I lost a very close relative last week due to
that.
36 hours. I hope I go that fast.

Good luck.

janet, if your community has a hospice organization, this is the
time to call them.  they will provide a variety of services to
help you and your family deal with your mother's passing, from in
home nursing care to volunteer respite care to grief counseling.
if your mother has medicare or insurance, that will usually pay
for those services, and if you can't afford to pay, the services
are free or a nominal cost.

hospice was great in helping my mother when she wanted to die at
home, and a great help and comfort to our family, before and
after she died.

my best wishes for your mother's peaceful passing, and may you
always remember the good times with her.

Ronny:
Amen.

Ronny:
Amen.

You have been a great daughter so won't have any regrets. Hope your
mom's passing is swift and easy for her and that you have the courage
to go through this difficult time. Hugs.

Hi Janet - it sounds to me like you and your mother have been able to be a
blessing for each other for your entire life.  You are both so fortunate.

I send warm wishes to you and all your family

Janet, losing a loved one is always sad no matter the circumstances, but in
case of your mother, and my husband,death seems to be the lesser of two bad
things to happen.  I could not cry when Grayson died because it meant he
would no longer be completely helpless and unable to talk.  I was just so
happy that he no longer lived in the circumstances he had been in for eight
months.  I hope that with your grief, you will also find some joy in knowing
she is better off.  The grief will be for yourself, not for her.  May her
passing be fast and very easy.
Gwen