<southaterz wrote:

Wow. U R at the exposé book-writing stage already, eh?

You wouldn't say U R a bit bitter, would you? And U posted the exact same
post twice w/ a slightly different header. Was that deliberate?

I'm not an expert, but your rant has all the signs of U approaching (or
having reached) the "burnout" point. This happens w/ anyone who is a
caregiver of anyone w/ a disability for an extended time, but I think most
especially so an elderly parent or spouse, and more so if alz is involved.
It means U R taking on too much alone and that U need a break big time, and
to do some things for yourself...to take care of yourself and renew and
recharge your psychic batteries. Otherwise U just get angry at the world,
which is where it sounds like U R at, though U R focusing (for now) on your
own very small corner of it. If you don't heed the warning signs, though, I
guarantee U, your resentment will spread eventually to the rest of the
world.

U need to get some external supports in place immediately...like yesterday.
Check out local support groups for family caregivers, even if U have to
drive a little distance. Even in small town South, U can't be the only one
going through this. Also look into talking to someone one-on-one in your
community, a professional w/ training in family members caring for loved
ones w/ disability/alz. U need to sit down w/ someone who can listen to U
and give you a place where U can vent and let out all your fear, sadness and
sense of abandonment. Someone who will listen w/o judging U and who maybe
can give you some constructive feedback and possibly point U to other
resources in your community that may help.

U have gotten to this state because U R not listening to the voice within
saying "This is too much for me to do alone! I need help! I need a break!
Please help me get a break from this and do something else just for me for a
while!"

I've never lived in the small town south, but I have experienced the sense
of isolation and abandonment from the communtiy, as well as family and
friends from time to time when I've been up against some tough challenges. I
know how lonely and painful that is...and it IS scary. U should think about
doing something for yourself. Maybe U need to get away for a while. Do U
have family and friends elsewhere in the country? Maybe it's time to pay
some of them a visit. Look into a temp. care arrangement for your
mom---either a setting or maybe another family member can step in for a week
or so while U get away or take a break. If there's no one to visit, take a
trip w/ your wife. Do U have any hobbies? There may be a local group, or a
group in the surrounding region of folks that share your interests. If not,
maybe there's an online group. Obviously U have a computer. It really helps
to have other people to connect w/ from time to time. That's one thing that
is so awesome about the internet. It really expands the horizons of one's
world...even if U don't make lifelong bosom buddies, temp. connections w/
other people can be very therapeutic. And if it comes down to it, U also
might think about relocating some place where U feel U may be able to
establish better connections to the community.

I think any of these steps would be healthier than stewing where U R to the
point of ready-to-explode, writing angry NG posts about the small-mindedness
of small town southerners and plotting your exposé of their hypocrisy. I
hope you'll think about it and start taking some postive steps ASAP to
improve your life, especially your state of mind.

~katelyn~