I've mentioned in other posts that my father has vascular dementia as a
result of several TIA's.  We suspect that there have been quite a few that
he has not reported to us.  His increasingly standard response to topics of
conversation that he cannot get his mind to grasp is what my sister calls
"deer in the headlights"  As an example I have a twin niece and nephew.  My
niece "J" is married to "B"  My nephew "T" is married to "R"  Conversations
about the twins deteriorate rapidly into questions from him about who we are
discussing.  Mentioning "J" and "B" brings the question "Who is "B"?  And
the same for my nephew.  Before 2 minutes have elapsed we are all in a
convoluted trail of attempting to keep him straight, and the original story
about what is up with the young adults is lost and gone.

His finances were in a shambles - people who were waiting to be compensated
for one thing or another finally tracked down my sister's phone number and
she is now helping him keep current on his bills and straighten out what had
become a real mess.  Income taxes not filed for over two years, hazard
insurance on tenant occupied rental properties allowed to lapse for lack of
payment, and so on.

His friends who live in the same apartment house began to advise him to let
my sister handle his financial affairs, volunteering that they would all
jump at the chance to be relieved of this burden.  We suspect, although none
of them have confessed to this, that they also saw his increasing confusion
and wished to offer him helpful advice.

Bottom line, he signed and notarized some documents in the last few days
which she had been hoping he would consent to.  About a month ago he failed
in an attempt to renew his driver's license.  He would have succeeded but in
his confusion at the busy DMV office (the deer in the headlights effect) he
lipped off to the vision examiner, got her dander up, and she requested he
take a driver's test at the wheel of his car.  He didn't pass, although with
that examiner he was as sweet as he could be.  Just couldn't drive worth a
d**m.

He was in the habit of telephoning my sister 6-8 times a day with
inconsequential items of conversation - did she remember the first name of a
neighbor who died in 1950 (when she was six years old).  About a month ago,
these calls stopped almost altogether.  Then came the signed documents a few
days ago.  She reported to me earlier to day that he has begun to straighten
out and clean up his incredibly trashy living room, which was cluttered with
papers, read and unread mail, apartment house newsletters, unpaid bills,
read and unread magazines, and who knows what else.  There was a narrow path
from his door to a chair by his desk and literally no other free space in
the entire room.  By contrast his bedroom is and always has been immaculate.

We are wondering if the stuffing has gone out of him and he is preparing to
leave us.  His physical health in general is good, with the exception of a
leg ulcer that will not heal.  If he should ease up on caring for that to
the limited extent he has up to now - well, it's hard not to wonder.

I needed to spill all this to someone other than a sibling or my husband.

Thanks for listening.