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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Alzheimer's / February 2006

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Am I over reacting?

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Donna in Idaho - 08 Feb 2006 19:59 GMT
My husband was diagnosed with AD about 1 1/2 years ago.  He was put on
Reminyl and he was doing very well - less irritabiliy, etc.  His Mother had
AD and a half-brother also had AD.

In the past month he has become obsessive about things (or it seems
obsessive to me anyway).

1.  All of a sudden he has been going to estate sales and buying 2 or 3
truckloads of stuff and then taking some of it to second hand dealers.
(History - he's a farmer and has always gone to farm sales to buy things he
actually needed on the farm).  Now, he's buying stuff he doesn't need to
trade, sell, etc.  When I would question the things he buys, he gets really
irritable with me.  We don't have a lot of money, but he insists he's making
money.  He makes many trips to the sales, the second hand store, etc. and is
spending a lot on gas.  He's 72 and has decided all of a sudden that he
needs a bike.  Brought home 2 bikes from the second hand store that he says
he's going to repair and sell.  Got on one of them to ride it, couldn't
figure out why it wasn't going anyplace - no chain!

2.  He bought 2 wire shelving units, put them up on the bathroom wall and
took just about everything out from under the bathroom sink and put all of
it on the shelves.  When I told him it looks tacky (this is the bathroom
that visitors use), he got angry with me.  Today when I got home he was
putting 'another' wire shelf up in the same bathroom.  When I told him again
that most people keep that stuff under the sink, not on the walls, he said I
don't like anything he does.  And, so it goes . . . .

Signature

Donna

carolinasongbird@gmail.com - 08 Feb 2006 20:16 GMT
Off the cuff, it sounds to me like he's bored and looking for stuff to
do, or needs stuff to do to prove he's still the man around the house,
etc. Problem is the reasoner isn't working too well.

Are there projects you *do* need done you could direct him into? Or
volunteer work?

A friend's dad with AD still was handy around the house (just couldn't
drive or manage his finances). He got hooked with a program that did
minor home repairs for senior citizens. A buddy picked him up and drove
him, and together they built lots of wheelchair ramps, fixed leaky
toilets and faucets, installed more secure locks and smoke detectors,
and eased the lives of many people.

Just an idea.

Songbird
Ruth - 09 Feb 2006 04:04 GMT
>In the past month he has become obsessive about things (or it seems
>obsessive to me anyway).

>1.  All of a sudden he has been going to estate sales and buying 2 or 3
>truckloads of stuff and then taking some of it to second hand dealers.
>(History - he's a farmer and has always gone to farm sales to buy things he
>actually needed on the farm).  Now, he's buying stuff he doesn't need to
>trade, sell, etc.

(snip)

>2.  He bought 2 wire shelving units, put them up on the bathroom wall and
>took just about everything out from under the bathroom sink and put all of
>it on the shelves.  When I told him it looks tacky ...

Donna, this sounds VERY familiar!  My husband went on the buying streaks.
At first, it was suits which he had stopped wearing 30 years ago.  Now he
has 3 from the best mens shops around - OUCH!  Then he started with socks
and underwear.

And what is the thing with the shelves?  He has mounted 4 shelves in his
bedroom plus the two wire units that are still in the boxes because he can't
remember how to install them.

His buying is a thing of the past now.  He no longer drives so he never
shops solo.
Ruth
Donna in Idaho - 09 Feb 2006 06:03 GMT
Ruth,

I guess I can be thankful that he's not buying expensive suits.   He was
doing so well on the Reminyl, I guess I was in denial that he really has AD.
Then, when these things started happening, I started facing the fact that
maybe the diagnosis is true.

I haven't said anything to his docs yet.  I go with him to his appointments,
and I know if I brought any of this up he would deny that he's doing
anything different than he ever did.  That's the 'discussions' we've been
having.  I asked him why all of a sudden he was going to estate sales and
buying and selling stuff.  He said he's always done it.  But, he hasn't - as
I mentioned before he used to just buy items at farm sales that he actually
needed on the farm.

Donna

> Donna, this sounds VERY familiar!  My husband went on the buying streaks.
> At first, it was suits which he had stopped wearing 30 years ago.  Now he
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
> shops solo.
> Ruth
Dennis P. Harris - 09 Feb 2006 07:21 GMT
> I haven't said anything to his docs yet.

You MUST.  If you need to, write them a letter.
Evelyn Ruut - 09 Feb 2006 12:17 GMT
>> I haven't said anything to his docs yet.
>
> You MUST.  If you need to, write them a letter.

I agree.   A letter would save you the argument in the doctors office,
especially if you feel sure he'd dispute what you say.

Signature

Best Regards,

Evelyn
(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox')

Dennis P. Harris - 09 Feb 2006 07:20 GMT
> He makes many trips to the sales, the second hand store, etc. and is
> spending a lot on gas.  

PLEASE consider the safety of everyone else on the road.  Ask his
doctor to report his AD diagnosis to your state DMV.  If he was
cognitively impaired enough for an AD diagnosis HE SHOULD NOT BE
DRIVING.

If you know he's impaired and you allow him to continue to drive,
you may be liable if he has an accident, and your insurance may
no longer cover him, which means that you have NO protection
against a wrongful death or personal injury lawsuit.

If he's as argumentative as it sounds, let the doctor and the DMV
do what you can't, and get him off the road.  If he drives
without a license, report him to the cops.

Seriously, for the everyone else's sake, GET HIM OFF THE ROAD.
carolinasongbird@gmail.com - 09 Feb 2006 14:46 GMT
I agree, Dennis, but Ruth has already said he is no longer driving. It
seems the shopping behavior has been replaced by a home improvement
craze.

Songbird
Donna in Idaho - 09 Feb 2006 16:56 GMT
So far, his driving is fine.  I've ridden with him driving enough to know
that at this point, he is ok in that respect.

Signature

Donna in Idaho

>
>> He makes many trips to the sales, the second hand store, etc. and is
[quoted text clipped - 15 lines]
>
> Seriously, for the everyone else's sake, GET HIM OFF THE ROAD.
Evelyn Ruut - 09 Feb 2006 22:00 GMT
> So far, his driving is fine.  I've ridden with him driving enough to know
> that at this point, he is ok in that respect.

Donna, if he is impaired enough to receive a definitive diagnosis, he is too
impaired to be driving.

We are not talking about his driving skills, though that can be in question
too, but he could suddenly forget where he is, even on the most familiar
road that he has traveled a million times.

I don't want to be on the same road as anyone who has been diagnosed.

Signature

Best Regards,

Evelyn
(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox')

carolinasongbird@gmail.com - 09 Feb 2006 23:03 GMT
And definitely not in the same car when he forgets how to stop it!
There's always a FIRST time everything is forgotten. You need to
discuss this with his doctor and the DMV.

Songbird
Dennis P. Harris - 10 Feb 2006 04:21 GMT
> So far, his driving is fine.  I've ridden with him driving enough to know
> that at this point, he is ok in that respect.

it doesn't hurt to have him tested every few months.  AD folks
are often more impaired that you can perceive, until you give
them the MMSE or some other cognitive skills test, or until you
test them for reaction time (like DMV does).  abilities often
vary from day to day, and can disappear suddenly.

seriously, if he has been diagnosed he should NOT be driving.


 
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