I posted here back back in August, the only outlet I could find to vent
my anger.  I was given advice about how to fuel my anger to make life
better for my mom, books to read, and most importantly told it was okay
to be angry.  I read "The 36-Hour Day", volunteer to fundraise for my
local Alzheimer's Assoc. Chapter, and I remembered to make time for
myself to breathe, reflect, and re-evaluate how AD will affect my
future.   Just wanted to say thank you for the advice.

I realize no matter how angry and bitter I may still get, it's not
something that will go away and I have to make the best of it.  My mom
has learned to accept it and isn't fighting me when I tell her to take
her meds.  Admitting it to herself and to the rest of our family has
helped decrease her frustration and depression...it's no longer her
"dirty secret' so to speak.

I'm still the main caregiver, my sister's are still unreliable but on
the plus side the bond between my mother and I is stronger than ever.
She's realized that although she needs me to care for her, she's still
the parent and I'm only 24...learning my way in life and still needing
her for so many other reasons.  I guess the balance has been restored.
Now that she's not working, she's better rested and eager to have
family outings and try new things.

It's been a year since her diagnosis and at that time I thought my
world had collapsed completely.  Now I see it as a new chapter, sure
things will never be the same and I am constantly afraid of how fast
her memory will deteriote...but in the meantime I've got my camcorder
by my side all the time and plan on recording all the memories for her.
I realize I can only take it as it comes.

I hope everyone can find a silver lining. It's not easy, but in the
midst of everything there's so many moments of laughter and joy still
remaining. Treasure them.