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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Alzheimer's / January 2006OK I got some b*lls and did it
I went to the bishop (or rather the person who handles personnel issues for him) about my dad. I sent a long email outlining the situation with both him and Mom, and we'll see what happens. I asked for confidentiality, because if Dad ever finds out I "told" on him, we really never will speak again. I'm just afraid he will kill himself, her or some innocent motorist though bad driving or inattention if I don't. And that would be worse than my current "shunning." (For newbies: my mom has vascular dementia, my dad is not taking care of herself or him properly, plus has developed a penchant for totalling cars -- two in five months. He is not talking to me because I have confronted him about his disregard for my mom.) So now I am feeling really scared -- but that's to be expected for someone who usually runs from confrontation! Songbird >I went to the bishop (or rather the person who handles personnel issues > for him) about my dad. I sent a long email outlining the situation with [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Songbird Hi Songbird.....I know how difficult it is to get the car keys away. I don't know where you are but most states have a website for the bureau of motor vehicles. You can anonymously turn him in. I'm surprised he can still get auto insurance. I had to do it for my mother and I know it's hard. But you gotta do what you gotta do.......June In this state the only reason they can cancel car insurance is if you don't pay the bill. Yes, they can charge you an arm and a leg and make you purchase through a state reinsurance facility (but even that is usually only for DWI convicted drivers.) I understand Dad's premium is now five times what mine is. Songbird Songbird i dont think you run from confrontations. Far from that. You are just careful what you do and when and how you do it. I admire you and wish you luck. I hope no one from church tells on you. Fingers crossed. Songbird, you showed extraordinary courage and I'm proud of you. I hope you get good results; it will be much better for your mom and dad---and for you, or course. Let us know how it goes. Gwen >I went to the bishop (or rather the person who handles personnel issues > for him) about my dad. I sent a long email outlining the situation with [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Songbird >I went to the bishop (or rather the person who handles personnel issues > for him) about my dad. I sent a long email outlining the situation with [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Songbird BRAVO! I am so glad you did that. It took tremendous courage, and it was the right thing. I have been offline for 24 hours. We had a terrible ice storm and lost telephone, cable, tv, the works. Fortunately the power stayed on, or it would've been a worse scenario. I am so heartened to read all the good wishes and good news this morning. Missed you all, even if it was only for a day. Regards, Evelyn I finally heard back from the bishop's office. They will not be using Dad for any interim work in the future. They will keep him on a list as a supply priest, which means he shows up, does one service, they give him a check, he goes home. I have no problem with that at this point. Meanwhile, Dad called Wednesday and gave me a garbled account of testing Mom is having. An ultrasound of her pancreas showed some anomalies, so they did a CT scan and it showed "Cybroids." I think he means cysts or fibroids. They are nothing to worry about, he says, but the doctor has referred them to a medical university three hours from here for further testing. (If nothing to worry about, says I, why?) Oh, and they have completed new POAs -- I will understand them when they arrive. You betcha. Dad now has Mom's POA and HCPOA. My brother and I have Dad's, though it allows us to act severally and jointly. Control, control, control... This all comes on a week when hubby is flat in bed with a bad back, I have a head cold/stomach flu, and the puppy I adopted last Saturday has pneumonia and may not live. I need this like a hole in the head! Songbird >I finally heard back from the bishop's office. They will not be using > Dad for any interim work in the future. They will keep him on a list as [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > > Songbird Oh Songbird, I feel so bad for you..... with all that you have a lot on your plate. At least your mom is undergoing some medical attention, and that can only be a good thing. So sorry about your poor puppy :-( (((((( hugs ))))))) This too shall pass.....  SignatureBest Regards, Evelyn (to reply to me personally, remove 'sox') Songbird, am glad that your dad did call you, at least. Hope your mom gets the testing she needs and then your dad will accept their diagnosis. Sorry about the way you and your husband are feeling, and also about the puppy. I had pneumonia a couple of months ago so I know how bad the little one feels! Gwen >I finally heard back from the bishop's office. They will not be using > Dad for any interim work in the future. They will keep him on a list as [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > > Songbird |
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