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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Alzheimer's / December 2005alert tag?
what do you all recommend for a tag on loved one who can wander off? I figure a necklace that has to be put on with pliers so he can't take it off? He is also allergic to penicillin so that must be noted LJ You have a couple of options Medic Alert is a good standby. As you know, if a person is wearing a medic alert medallion or bracelet, their medical records, contact information etc. can be easily retrieved. My husband is a diabetic and wears one, and we had one for his mother that said memory impaired etc. http://www.medicalert.org/home/Homegradient.aspx and click on emblems. The cost is nominal - 35$ for the first year, $20 per year after that. Another option is the Safe Return program offered by the Alzheimer's Association. Similar thing - person wears a bracelet with a number, but there is also a full description and photo etc. on file. In Ontario is called Safely Home, but its similar. Here is the information for the US. http://www.alz.org/Services/SafeReturn.asp Personally, I liked the Medic Alert thing, since my MIL like many older people, had a number of health issues that anyone finding her needed to be aware of, on top of the AD, so we wanted to make sure if she ever collapsed or fell etc. everything was covered - they had her records on file. By the time your husband gets to the point where he won't keep on a bracelet or necklace, he will need to be under 24/7 supervision and care anyway (i.e. likely in lock down with a "wander guard" bracelet he can't take off). It's also an idea to iron labels into his clothing with his name, and a contact phone number, which you will see the Alzheimer's Safe Return also promotes. Name tags will help in case he ever gets lost and can't tell whoever finds him where he lives (if you asked my mother in law where she lived by mid AD, she was likely to tell you her girlhood address she hadn't lived at in 50 years...and her maiden name, to boot. I don't think you need a wander guard just yet! They are wrist or ankle bracelets with little electronic signal boxes attached and they set off an alarm if a person goes past exits equipped with monitors. My MIL couldn't get hers off, but I'm sure had she been stronger and more determined, there would have been a way. She left it alone. They are usually used in institutions for high risk wanderers, in combination with other security measures, like key pads to open those doors, and other surveillance measures. The place my MIL was in had key pads on all exits from the ward, including elevators (you couldn't get out unless you could punch in a number code), wander guards on all the residents who were mobile, a 24/7 manned front desk where they had pictures of all the wanderers posted, and a final set of key pads on the main door....and some people still got out - often because visitors would let them out, not realizing they were cognitively impaired. Some places resort to making serious wanderers wear bright coloured t-shirts so they can be easily identified by all staff and visitors as someone who shouldn't be let out. Mary G. Thanks for all of the help. I am going to have to find a way to attach it to him so he can't just take it off maybe a staple gun? hahahaha LindaJean > You have a couple of options > [quoted text clipped - 49 lines] > > Mary G. > what do you all recommend for a tag on loved one who can wander off? I > figure a necklace that has to be put on with pliers so he can't take it > off? > He is also allergic to penicillin so that must be noted > > LJ LJ, what is the situation where you feel such a device is needed? Is the LO in care, or at home and easily able to wander, or is this a 'just in the remote event that...' you are thinking of?  SignatureTumbleweed email replies not necessary but to contact use; tumbleweednews at hotmail dot com yesterday he was upset and went out the gate and walked off in his slippers. We live in a house on a mountain. LindaJean > > what do you all recommend for a tag on loved one who can wander off? I > > figure a necklace that has to be put on with pliers so he can't take it [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > Is the LO in care, or at home and easily able to wander, or is this a 'just > in the remote event that...' you are thinking of? Time for care? Seriously. That *cannot* be safe :-( SignatureTumbleweed email replies not necessary but to contact use; tumbleweednews at hotmail dot com > yesterday he was upset and went out the gate and walked off in his > slippers. [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > 'just >> in the remote event that...' you are thinking of? He only has been diagnosed with MCI so it isn't an option now LindaJean > Time for care? Seriously. That *cannot* be safe :-( > > yesterday he was upset and went out the gate and walked off in his [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > 'just > >> in the remote event that...' you are thinking of? Again, you have said that you can't move, but I really think you need to consider exactly what you mean by that. "Can't", or really, really don't want to HAVE to??? You really DO need to live somewhere appropriate for what is coming. You can't do anything to prevent what will happen to him, but you can control how you manage his care, and that includes the type of housing and location of where you live. M. I mean can't as in there is NO money He has no money and I have no money and we have no other place to go. It is as simple as that LindaJean > Again, you have said that you can't move, but I really think you need > to consider exactly what you mean by that. "Can't", or really, really [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > M. > I mean can't as in there is NO money > He has no money and I have no money and we have no other place to go. > It is as simple as that so who owns the house? if it's yours, sell it and move now, while it's easiest. and what do you mean "no place to go"? you can always go someplace else. no one is keeping you in jail. start thinking outside the box you've imposed on yourself. he needs treatment and care, and you'll need respite, if you don't already. you just need to start planning that move, analyzing and dealing with the barriers. even being broke is no barrier, because it makes you eligible for various charity and government programs, especially if the reason you're broke is that he can't work for medical reasons. there are programs that you need to file for yesterday, like social security SSI, any disability insurance he may have had from work, any kind of state disability program, medicaid if you don't have insurance, etc. food stamps. adult public assistance. all programs that can be quite daunting to apply for, but if you can get the social workers on your side, helping you to find resources, you will be able to move to where you can get help. and unless there is some compelling reason why he can't be left alone, you should consider finding a job soon, even if the pay isn't great. although work can be tiring, you might find the time away to be a relief. if he ends up having to be watched all the time, that's what day care centers are for, but you'll have to move to town to be near enough to one for it to be useful. I don't feel comfortable going over my financial situation with a bunch of strangers online. I would rather that you just accept my repeated answer and move on. There is so much more to all of this than you know it is silly for you to insist on judging the decisions of me & my family LindaJean >I don't feel comfortable going over my financial situation with a bunch of > strangers online. I would rather that you just accept my repeated answer [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > you to insist on judging the decisions of me & my family > LindaJean Hi LindaJean, Nobody here would presume to be judging you .....and we really don't want to know the personal financial stuff, for our own sakes as well as yours. We are just all feeling for you SO much, and wanting help for you, and we all know that sometimes things seem impossible to get resolved. We have all been in your shoes in some way or another. If not financially, our hands were maybe also tied in other ways in the beginning. I know you are looking at a long bleak road ahead, but like the old zen proverb, "Even a journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step." We all know you are doing your best and taking it one step at a time. We are scared for you who are starting out on this. Never mistake our concern for judgement. Please trust me on this, that people who have replied to you here, genuinely care. If you can't envision moving somewhere else than your present location, then just trust us in that you will most likely at some point realize that you may need to think out of the box. It might be better sooner than later. If not, follow your own heart, but know that our advice is meant in kindness, and from the position of having stood where you now stand. Not a single person here means you any ill, of that I am sure. Best Regards, Evelyn I will concede that most in here mean well. To keep telling someone they need to move when that adult person informs it is not an option, that is not being helpful. I come here for advice on things I can change not to daydream about those I cannot. Yes I am facing an ugly future. Since I am also disabled it makes it twice as hard. Having only 6 months of marriage before the sh.t hit the fan is unbelievable. I will face this the best that I can manage and let God handle to rest of it. I know my limitations and problems. Nobody in here does. I am not an idiot, I just choose to focus where there are possibilities not where I have none. LindaJean > Hi LindaJean, > [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > Best Regards, > Evelyn Very well said LindaJean. Given what little I know of your situation, I have been amazed at your ability to progress through each difficulty, and approach things so rationally. It's my mother that has alz. and it's been heartbreaking, but she's 85 and has had a long, somewhat fullfilling life. To have a new husband, who's relatively young, with a degenerative brain disease is unbelievable. As to your original inquiry, my mother has a safe return bracelet that's really hard to remove even by me, but she was willing to have it placed on her wrist. I have a friend who lives out in the boonies a little with her mother who has pretty significant alz.. The closest town nearby doesn't offer a lot of services and her mother's long term care insurance does not provide enough money to hire compentent in home care. It's not fun for my friend but she's making do. MEG wrote: > I will concede that most in here mean well. To keep telling someone they > need to move when that adult person informs it is not an option, that is not [quoted text clipped - 40 lines] > > Best Regards, > > Evelyn thank you Yes, that sounds similar to our situation. We do have a nice local hospital but nothing for AD support. LindaJean > Very well said LindaJean. > [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > MEG Very well said LindaJean. Given what little I know of your situation, I have been amazed at your ability to progress through each difficulty, and approach things so rationally. It's my mother that has alz. and it's been heartbreaking, but she's 85 and has had a long, somewhat fullfilling life. To have a new husband, who's relatively young, with a degenerative brain disease is unbelievable. As to your original inquiry, my mother has a safe return bracelet that's really hard to remove even by me, but she was willing to have it placed on her wrist. I have a friend who lives out in the boonies a little with her mother who has pretty significant alz.. The closest town nearby doesn't offer a lot of services and her mother's long term care insurance does not provide enough money to hire compentent in home care. It's not fun for my friend but she's making do. MEG wrote: > I will concede that most in here mean well. To keep telling someone they > need to move when that adult person informs it is not an option, that is not [quoted text clipped - 40 lines] > > Best Regards, > > Evelyn Linda Jean - I can't imagine what you're going through, and you have my sympathy. This is not what you planned for your life, it's a really rotten situation. I hope all goes well for you. This is a good group, they're mostly very kind and caring people. Keep your chin up, Linda Jean. You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. All the best, Patty > I will concede that most in here mean well. To keep telling someone they > need to move when that adult person informs it is not an option, that is not [quoted text clipped - 40 lines] > > Best Regards, > > Evelyn >Hi LindaJean, > [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] >kindness, and from the position of having stood where you now stand. Not a >single person here means you any ill, of that I am sure. You should also realise that those offering you free advice here are also fallable. So, consider their advice, but also, make your own decision about it and don't be afraid to reject the aura of infallability in which they try to clothe themselves. Remember that while their comments are almost certainly sincere, they are based on a sample of only one or two. anthony shipley Run away with me; I can make you unhappy. true ;-) LindaJean > You should also realise that those offering you free advice here are also > fallable. So, consider their advice, but also, make your own decision about it [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Run away with me; I can make you unhappy. >I mean can't as in there is NO money > He has no money and I have no money and we have no other place to go. > It is as simple as that > LindaJean Linda Jean, you should contact your county office of the aging, welfare, look into whatever services there are. You are going to need them. Dennis is right. Best Regards, Evelyn We're not judging you Linda Jean, but we ARE going to challenge you and push you to think about things in new ways, given what is going to happen. Most of us have had experience with the illness from one end to the other, and learned many bitter lessons on the road - and we wouldn't be supporting you if we didn't also point out the fatal flaws in your plans. We've all done the "can't" and "won't" thing to a greater or lesser extent, and then found out we had to, we could, we did. We certainly didn't want to, and none of it was easy, financially, emotionally, practically. In retrospect, most of us learned that taking a "can't or won't" stance made things worse for everyone involved, since it delayed really looking at the solutions until we were on the brink of disaster. I know you are just feeling your way through this now because its early days...but my own experience with AD is that it gets worse and worse on every front in ways you can't beginning to imagine (you start stumbling from little crisis to bigger crisis in an ever escalating crecendo until crisis becomes the norm and your head is ready to explode). You will need help! You will need services, you will need things convenient, you will need things configured to be safe. Part of taking care of him, is taking care of yourself, and that requires setting the scene to make life managable. If you live in a location that contributes to stress, inconvenience, safety issues, lack of respite etc. you are going to end up pounded out, exhausted, desperate, sick, and unable to cope. I mean...just think about living with a wanderer where you live now. You won't be able to leave him alone for 10 seconds. Even you taking a bath may mean he's potentially out the door, even if he's just innocently intending to have a look at the weather. You won't be able to run errands, take a nap, have a coffee with a neighbour without taking him with you, so you will be sentenced to 24/7 vigil long before you need to be due to your isolation. As deadly as an urban environment can be for someone with AD, at least there are watching eyes so its better than wandering off into the woods or a ravine. By the way...today's headlines in our local paper included a body found in the snow by a set of train tracks in an isolated area - a man who had gone wandering from a Toronto hospital. ! As I've mentioned before, my personal view is that AD requires you to be a pessimist and plan for worst case. And then if you don't need what you've planned as soon as you've feared, you get to be pleasantly surprised and relaxed for a little while longer. M. > Most of us have had experience with the illness from one end to > the other, and learned many bitter lessons on the road - and we [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > since it delayed really looking at the solutions until we were on the > brink of disaster. what mary said. your financial situation has nothing to do with it, since those problems can be overcome. you may be shocked or uncomfortable with our frankness, but we have learned that denial only makes things worse. you asked for help and advice and you got it, given in the belief that others can learn from our experience. if you can't accept what's useful with grace, and let what doesn't apply just fall away, you need to learn how to do that quickly, because you will need that skill many times in the months and years to come. LJ, one free of charge item you definitely need to put on your list if you haven't already -- notify the local constable, sheriff or whatever they call it in your area. Especially in rural areas, it's good to give them a "head's up" on what your hubby looks like and the fact that he shouldn't be wandering around the mountain. This can also help head off problems if they try to ask him questions and he doesn't seem to be answering right. At his age, AD wouldn't be the first suspected reason for irrational behavior. Karen > Linda Jean, you should contact your county office of the aging, welfare, > look into whatever services there are. You are going to need them. Dennis > is right. > > Best Regards, > Evelyn good point thanks I will phone them LindaJean > LJ, one free of charge item you definitely need to put on your list if you > haven't already -- notify the local constable, sheriff or whatever they call [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Karen I carry half a dozen pictures of my husband in my handbag. Took a digital pix of him, ran off several 3x5's on some photo paper and have them in an envelope. Just in case... Ruth > LJ, one free of charge item you definitely need to put on your list if you > haven't already -- notify the local constable, sheriff or whatever they [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] >> Best Regards, >> Evelyn ah good tip thank you L J > I carry half a dozen pictures of my husband in my handbag. Took a digital > pix of him, ran off several 3x5's on some photo paper and have them in an [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > >> Best Regards, > >> Evelyn >>I mean can't as in there is NO money >>He has no money and I have no money and we have no other place to go. [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > Best Regards, > Evelyn The first place I went for information was Senior Services. I was hoping to at least be educated in what I needed to do first, second etc. They told me that as my husband wasn't yet 65 they weren't able to help us at all and I should probably check the yellow pages for an attorney. Oh, they did point out a stand of brochures and told me I was welcome to take any with me. There wasn't one brochure there that dealt with issues we will be facing pre-fixed income and medicare. So far, the most helpful place we've been is the VA. Because my husband's affliction isn't service related (and that counselor did everything he could to try to get us into that category), he isn't a WWII veteran and hasn't a purple heart - the help doesn't encompass a whole lot but every bit counts right now and at least there was someone who was trying. I didn't mean to get side-tracked there and the point I was trying to make is that when you are in your fifties those that deal with senior services are not able to pull you in under those programs. ~karen~ > I didn't mean to get side-tracked there and the point I was trying to > make is that when you are in your fifties those that deal with senior > services are not able to pull you in under those programs. no, but there are programs for those with disablities, including social security SSI, which is different from the social security you get at age 65. there is also medicaid and adult public assistance, as well as food stamps, none of which require that you be a particular age. > no, but there are programs for those with disablities, including > social security SSI, which is different from the social security > you get at age 65. there is also medicaid and adult public > assistance, as well as food stamps, none of which require that > you be a particular age. I've started slowly sifting through things as I can. I've heard and read that SSI is a painstaking (sp?) process and I'll need every "t" crossed and "i" dotted to avoid being denied and having to reapply. Tim is self-employed and still able to work some but it isn't anywhere near the level of productivity as before. It's going to be awhile before I can get the legal advice sorted out that will help me make sure I get it right the first time through. Before I deal with the SSI I really need some answers on how our state deals with the medicaid issues. As soon as I am able I will be making an appointment to get those requirements explained to me. I have to be sure that each step I take is "solid". Tim's comfort and care depends on it. Thank you for your straightforward manner. :-) I appreciate it. ~karen~ I know from helping someone with the paperwork that disability is indeed a tedious process and heaven help you if you don't have the mental ability to juggle the mountain of paperwork that goes with it. However, our state's Department of Rehabilitation was free and was more helpful than the attorney. Also, once on Social Security Disability, you get a tax break on the disability payments and become eligible for Medicare (even before 60). LJ, if your hubby's job is going to have to pay him LTD payments, they may front the money for an attorney to help get approval (to be taken out of the lump payment if approved). It's still a huge PIA just for the paperwork alone, but I'd check out your state's department that provides rehabilitation assistance. It's not age dependant. SignatureKaren kk5151@hotmail.com > > no, but there are programs for those with disablities, including > > social security SSI, which is different from the social security [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > Thank you for your straightforward manner. :-) I appreciate it. > ~karen~ I have found much the same problem. It will take 2 years before Medicare kicks in and even then it won't help much. John is just too young for most programs. LindaJean > The first place I went for information was Senior Services. I was > hoping to at least be educated in what I needed to do first, second etc. [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > ~karen~ > I have found much the same problem. It will take 2 years before Medicare > kicks in and even then it won't help much. John is just too young for most > programs. > LindaJean We went to see the lawyer and got the POAs taken care of but when I started asking questions about other issues the look on his face! :-) I wish I had had a camera. LOL He did give me the name of a lawyer that deals with elder issues but cautioned me that we need to realize that the standard answers wouldn't all fit our situation and that *that* lawyer might need to research things out a bit. I took that to mean I need to save up extra $$ to cover those research costs. So I'm rattling the piggy bank but it still needs more time/$$ until we are ready to pay our way for those answers. Thanks to the meds, Tim is still able to work some. Eventually I'll have to look into the Social Security Disability benefits. From what I understand, that is going to take medical and legal coordination and that's going to take a very fat piggy bank! I hope the sun's shining on your home today. We are getting much needed rain. ~karen~ hahaha I asked ours all sorts of questions about disability and such. He was stumped. He has been an elder attorney for many years but never dealt with EOAD lololol I insisted hubby gets his tests done at the UCLA hospital as it is world famous in Neuro. A doctor in an ER up here told me that when UCLA announced he was ill everyone would have to believe it. That it would save time and money in the long run. LindaJean > We went to see the lawyer and got the POAs taken care of but when I > started asking questions about other issues the look on his face! :-) [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > rain. > ~karen~ > hahaha I asked ours all sorts of questions about disability and such. He was > stumped. He has been an elder attorney for many years but never dealt with > EOAD lololol Oh my! This sounds like I might have another opportunity to capture "The Kodak Moment". > I insisted hubby gets his tests done at the UCLA hospital as it is world > famous in Neuro. A doctor in an ER up here told me that when UCLA announced > he was ill everyone would have to believe it. That it would save time and > money in the long run. > LindaJean I like the way that Dr. thinks! ~karen~ He was the first person besides me to see John in a "bad" time. The doctor was very aggressive in what I needed to do to get help. Before that everyone I talked to just dismissed my worries as no big deal. L J > > hahaha I asked ours all sorts of questions about disability and such. He was > > stumped. He has been an elder attorney for many years but never dealt with [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > I like the way that Dr. thinks! > ~karen~ > He only has been diagnosed with MCI so it isn't an option now > > LindaJean LJ, if your 2-3 year old toddler kept wandering off would your solution be to put tags on his clothing so someone might return him safely later? The mere fact you feel you need tags that cant be removed speaks volumes for your husbands condition. I'm going to hazard a guess that after the police have found your husband in a dangerous (& possibly distressed?) situation a few times, esp if he is innappropriately dressed and thus by definition not being properly looked after, he will be taken into care whether or not you or he wants it. No criticism of you is implied here, it is impossible for one person, with no help, to look after a dementia sufferer 24x7 indefinitely. I'm also going to suggest that given that this behaviour has started, you do need to get him on Aricept asap to see if its any help. Can this behaviour be used as a trigger to get Aricept for him? SignatureTumbleweed email replies not necessary but to contact use; tumbleweednews at hotmail dot com I have the safe return bracelet from the Alz group. There is an 800# on it.to be called. They also supply a bracelet for the caregiver. I keep mine on my car keys... It is very difficult to open. I used to have metal wind chimes attached to all outdoor , inside & bathroom door knobs . My daughter finally took our dog because it was an excuse for Don to open the door. Everyday before that , we went to the park .. Don took it upon himself to pull grass from between the pavement, I'd kid him ---no paycheck. He needed the outdoors. I figure I can put locks on the 2 gates if I have to LindaJean > I have the safe return bracelet from the Alz group. There is an 800# on > it.to be called. They also supply a bracelet for the caregiver. I keep [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > to pull grass from between the pavement, I'd kid him ---no paycheck. > He needed the outdoors. Florence, your post on the grass pulling brought back memories. My FIL died in 1999, but that is one of my memories of him. He wanted to be outdoors, but once out would set about pulling every blade of grass in a circle. We had tons of circles in our yard with no grass. He was never a wanderer as in wandering off the property as my MIL could do, but he'd take apart mops, etc and put nails somehow with the sharp end sticking out into the end of mop handles. He'd use them and pick up every leaf he could find on the ground. He couldn't stand for anything to be on the dirt...whether it belonged there or not. I sure do miss that man. He waited so long for grandchildren and absolutely loved kids, but by the time he had grandchildren, his AD was so advanced he never realized they were his grandsons. How sad that he was denied the joy of knowing that LindaJean > Florence, your post on the grass pulling brought back memories. My FIL > died in 1999, but that is one of my memories of him. He wanted to be [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > kids, but by the time he had grandchildren, his AD was so advanced he > never realized they were his grandsons. > yesterday he was upset and went out the gate and walked off in his > slippers. > We live in a house on a mountain. Hi LJ, That was one of the first really odd things Ida did that gave us the impetus to get her checked. She went to visit her sister in the hospital in the ice and snow, wearing bedroom slippers inside of her boots. Of course they were pulling off from the suction as she was stepping into the snow. That, and stopping bathing. We knew for sure this was just not "her" style. Something was very wrong. Regards, Evelyn Have you heard of Red Patch Alert id clothing patch and their caregiver contact wristband? view it at www.redpatchalert.com BG > what do you all recommend for a tag on loved one who can wander off? I > figure a necklace that has to be put on with pliers so he can't take it > off? > He is also allergic to penicillin so that must be noted > > LJ thanks I will take a look LindaJean > Have you heard of Red Patch Alert id clothing patch and their caregiver > contact wristband? [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > > > LJ > Have you heard of Red Patch Alert id clothing patch and their caregiver > contact wristband? > view it at www.redpatchalert.com > BG Thank you! I have that bookmarked for future reference. That's something I can take an example of to the local police station when it's needed and they can post it there for the officers. There are some perks to living in a small town. ~karen~ Have you heard of Red Patch Alert ID clothing patch and their caregiver contact wristband? View at www.redpatchalert.com. > what do you all recommend for a tag on loved one who can wander off? I > figure a necklace that has to be put on with pliers so he can't take it > off? > He is also allergic to penicillin so that must be noted > > LJ |
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