Florence, I hope you will find an answer to the problem, and it won't be as
bad as you are dreading it to be!
Gwen

Florence, you hit the nail on the head.  He is obviously confused by the
commotion in the dining area - and he reacts to things like the aid
intervening and people trying to take food away in the exact same manner
that any of us would if some stranger was getting in our face trying to take
food away.

It would be great if he could eat in a more peaceful area of the facility -
suffest that to the director and the RN - hopefully the three of you can
work something out.

BTW, am I correct in remembering that your husband is in a facility in
Northern NJ?  I live in this area, so if you'd like to email me privately, I
can let you know if I have any insight specific to your ALF. :)

MaryD - m l daikos@ optonline . net
Certfied Dementia Practitioner
Director, NJ Alzheimer's Adult Day Care

Hi Florence, too bad he wasn't sitting next to our Ida!  She had the
opposite problem of giving all her food away all the time!   She'd offer
this or that to anyone.   Anyway, I think they ought to have him sit at a
separate table, perhaps like you say, near the window.   Sometimes the
simplest solution is the best.

My mother in law got to the point where she ate alone, sitting at a
card table, on the ward - they brought her meal up on a tray. Going
down to the bustling dining hall with all the action and noise got to
be too much for her. She had been eating sitting at a large table with
several other residents - and the dining hall itself must have held 100
people at a sitting.

With her, it wasn't just the agitation, it was distraction so she
wouldn't eat. She did better sitting quietly by herself in terms of
getting food into her.

If you really want to know, sounds like maybe the aid mishandled
things. I've been reading some of Dr. Reisbergs recent work - I think
he may be on to something. He describes the progress of AD as
"retrogenesis" in that as the illness progresses, the person really
does get decontructed in a similar but opposite order to their
childhood development. He feels that many problems of AD could be
better addressed with the kind of emotional response one would show a
child of a similar stage, and that many of the emotional outbursts and
even the withdrawal, are because the person's emotional needs are not
recognized or addressed.

I don't know what stage your hubbie is at, Florence, but say he is
similar in capabilities and emotions to a preschooler. He might get
confused and try to eat from a plate that wasn't his. He's hungry, he
doesn't understand why he's being yelled at and confronted, he feels
threatened - and he responds in kind. As a parent, if the situation was
happening at YOUR house, you would be soothing, diverting, distracting,
cajoling, finding a way to solve it that wouldn't be overwhelming and
upsetting for the people at the table and keep it from escalating. My
kids certainly were more than capable of spectacular tantrums when they
were smaller over food and eating if they were thwarted and then made
upset by confrontation and yelling.

Perhaps the way the food was laid out was confusing - i.e. if the seats
could be arranged so other plates and cups are not close to his - just
leave a little more space between him and his table mates, or maybe he
could be on the end of a long table so there is only one plate in front
of him.

I can see why they would get upset with him threating someone with an
implement, but I do think they could handle this better and more
creatively to avoid a recurrence. Have they even tried to amend the
seating arrangement? Simple thing to try out and might solve the
problem.  

Mary G.