Am i being paranoid?

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Jules - 20 Oct 2005 15:55 GMT

Went to see granddad this morning, needed his help for half a hour to work
on my car

While we were sat having a cup of tea the fone rang, and it was some woman
from some NHS health service, saying his son (my bastard of a father) had
called to say that my granddad was having trouble getting in and out of his
chair etc.

Anyway she turned up, talked to him like he was a 5 year old and said would
you like your chair and bed raising, my grandad said no, jumped up, sat back
down, jumped up again about 5 times, just to show her he was fit and strong
and had no trouble getting out of the chair, she then said its obvious there
is nothing fitness wise as as she was about to leave, she saw me struggle to
get up and gave me a funny look....like i was taking the piss, but i wasnt,
infact my grandad often gives me a hand to get up, not the other way around.

I have found out my father (i wont put what i think) has had everyone come
round and a.ses him, at worst one person put a note in the bathroom saying
be careful when you sit on the shower mat seat thing that fits on the bath
sides. Ok v rarly he might leave the electric cooker ring on, i did that
last week here with gas, infact i forgot to light one.

yeah he turned 80 last week, he cant lift a car engine or gearbox anymore,
but hes active, strong and i cant see any concerns, at least in the short
term but i have a feeeling my father is trying to get him out of the house,
in a nursing home, sell it and pocket the cash, i wouldnt put that past him.

We dont talk, as last week i saw him and his wife for the first tiem in
months and it came to the point where greandad had to hold me back, that
happend the first time when i was 15 and hit my father, we have never got
one, never will.

Do i have any say on my granddads rights? my grandparents raised me, and
they stood by me through thick and thin, when my parents didnt and i know my
father and his wife are now incharge of his finances and legal stuff.

Put a few pics up of my grandparents and a little story about them.

http://www.julianhales.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/

thanks

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Alan Meyer - 21 Oct 2005 17:45 GMT

> ...
> Do i have any say on my granddads rights? my grandparents raised me, and
> they stood by me through thick and thin, when my parents didnt and i know my
> father and his wife are now incharge of his finances and legal stuff.
> ...

It sounds to me like this is something you need to discuss with your
grandfather. Ask him why he gave financial control to his son. Ask
him to explain what will happen if he gets sick, and when he dies. If
you think he is making a mistake, ask him about that too. But remember,
he knew your father from way back when your father was a baby. He
may know things about hm that even you don't know.

Although it sounds like you and your father have a lot of bad feelings
for each other, life is so short that it's a shame to not be able overcome
them and get closer to your nearest relation.

Maybe you can find a way to forgive him for the things that he's done
and maybe he can find a way to be a better father to you. If you can't
talk to him directly, maybe call his new wife and talk to her. She must
have seen something in him that she liked. Maybe she can talk to him
for you and help get you together.

> Put a few pics up of my grandparents and a little story about them.
>
> http://www.julianhales.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/

Nice website Jules.

Best of luck.

Alan

Reply to this Message

Jules - 23 Oct 2005 23:04 GMT

> > ...
> > Do i have any say on my granddads rights? my grandparents raised me, and
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
> he knew your father from way back when your father was a baby. He
> may know things about hm that even you don't know.

true

> Although it sounds like you and your father have a lot of bad feelings
> for each other, life is so short that it's a shame to not be able overcome
> them and get closer to your nearest relation.

Well i asked him 8 month ago if we could bury the hatchet until my granddad
was no longer here, but that lasted until the next time we saw each other.

> Maybe you can find a way to forgive him for the things that he's done
> and maybe he can find a way to be a better father to you. If you can't
> talk to him directly, maybe call his new wife and talk to her. She must
> have seen something in him that she liked. Maybe she can talk to him
> for you and help get you together.

His wife is a major part of the problem, she is always the first one to
start saying things, like when i was a kid saying my real mom wasnt much of
a mom and never got any better between us

> > Put a few pics up of my grandparents and a little story about them.
> >
> > http://www.julianhales.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/
> >
> Nice website Jules.

thanks

> Best of luck.
>
> Alan

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