my guess would be that it's a reaction to change.... and that he's likely to
settle down now that he's back with you ....

long before my MIL was anywhere near as bad as she is now, 2 of her
daughters took her to a resort for a few days.... it was horrid... she was
totally discombobulated, and had all sorts of problems that she'd never
exhibited to that point (including toileting ~issues~) ... took her a while
to settle back in at home ... but she did ... and we never tried that again.

Even having them come here while we go away tends to cause some
deterioration ...  to a lesser degree though.

now that she has deteriorated a whole lot more - to the point where even
when she's at home nothing FEELS like home to her, and she's constantly
asking to go home... I don't think it would matter too much ... she adjusted
to the hospital quite well, and again to her return home...  but in the
early to mid stages, I think changes like that are very very difficult for
the person to deal with.

I have!!!  Yeah they are a totally different person.  You can't even
trust them anymore.  Just make an appt. with the DR. and check it out!

Either or both ,people dont 'move' into stages cleanly, they deteriorate and
stages are just a shorthand way of summarising/simplifying where they are at
any particular point.

Probably everyone here.

Stages, in alzheimers, are not sharp delineations where a person suddenly
goes into "the next" stage.   The progression is more gradual, and what we
call "stages" are more for us to try and measure what abilities they have
lost, or still have.    Few people are in any clear cut stage, they might
have some of the symptoms of one stage and some of the symptoms from
another, never fully fitting into one category, but more in general in one
category than another.

I went through something like what you describe with my mother in law when I
had to drive 100 miles to visit my father one Saturday, and I thought I
could take her along and keep her out of my husband's hair for that few
hours.   We started out just fine.   We got to my father's house and sat and
visited for a bit, when she began demanding to go home.   She got pushy and
snippy about it.   She refused to use the toilet there, and I knew that
after a couple of hours of driving, she surely must have had to "go" but she
continued to refuse.   Her demands to be taken home got more pressing and
more angry.   My father said I should take her home if that was what she
wanted.   Naturally, he didn't realize how confused she was.   Nothing I
could say would put her off.... that we'd only just gotten there didn't
matter.

Okay, so I reluctantly got her settled into the car and began the long trip
home.   Well that trip was sheer hell.  She had no idea who I was.   She was
very snippy with me, very demanding and rude, and continued berating me the
whole two hour trip home.   It was as though I was purposely keeping her in
the car on some ride and making home further away than it really was, in her
mind.   Nothing I could say or do would shut her up or placate her.   She
said she wanted to go home RIGHT NOW!   Telling her we were going home
didn't matter.  She wanted home to be closer than it was.

When I told her I was her daughter in law, I was 'Evelyn,' she acted as
though she didn't understand the words.   When we finally did get home from
that endless journey, she told my husband to "pay that woman" who took her
home.   I was stunned, because she seemed to have totally disconnected with
the life she was living and all that was familiar in it, including me, our
car, and nothing could reach her.

Later on, after she went to bed and got up the next morning in her own bed,
she remembered who I was again and went through her usual, normal routine.
This is why I always say they seem to THRIVE on routine.   Being unable to
relate to new experiences, they also seem not to enjoy new experiences
anymore, the way normal people do.

Of course like we always say here, your experience with a loved one might be
different, but I have heard enough reading in this newsgroup to make me
believe it is quite typical.   Taking your loved one on a trip might sound
like a good idea, but have a ready bail out plan!    It was on that day that
I realized my mother in law was probably getting a lot further along than I
realized, in her illness.

Unfortunately, I just experienced something similar with my MIL. I had
already been thinking maybe my SIL & BIL could take her for a night maybe
once a month, as they live just up the street.. After yesterday, I'm not
sure if that would work.

We are just north of Houston. Although Hurricane Rita could have been
infintely worse, even for us here this far north of the coast, we didn't
fare too bad. We did lose power for almost 2 days. It was weird. Part of the
neighborhood did have power. So yesterday afternoon, with the temp rising to
unbearable temp with no AC or even a fan, we went up to my SIL's to get out
of the heat for a while. Even my MIL, who seems to take heat much better
than we do, was starting to look a bit wilted. They wanted to fix us dinner
so hubby & I left for a little bit to let the dogs out & close up the house
(the lights had just come back on). She wanted to come back with us but we
told her it was still way too hot & we were coming right back anyway for
supper, explaining we had to let the dogs go potty. In that small amount of
time we were gone, my SIL had heck with my MIL, trying to keep her there.
She kept insisting she wanted to go home. She had only been there a couple
of hours.

After we got her settled in last night, I told my husband I thought it was
to the point that she'd want to be here even if half the house burned
down.... She was beginning to show signs of confusion the night before, just
after not having lights & TV all day. She understood we didn't have lights
but occassionally tried to turn a light on anyway. That night, I showed her
the battery operated tap lights we had in her bedroom & bath. She told me
she knew how to operate them, because she had one "at home". She kept
repeating that & kept turning it off & on. I just let her, because I wanted
her to be comfortable with it. Finally I quietly said "you *are* at home".
So sad - I know in her mind, she probably was back at least 10 or 15 years,
when she had her own home that she'd lived in for at least 25/30 years
before moving into my SIL's house. She doesn't usually talk like that. Even
there in her room surrounded by all her furniture & things, she was a tad
messed up. I thought to myself about the ones less fortunate who are in
nursing homes with only about a box worth of their belongings to make the
place homey. I know it was just the strain of the "changes" (like others
have discussed here). For her, going without lights & TV all day was too
much, enough to make her vocalize the thought that she wasn't "at home".

Even though I'm still new to this horrid "disease" (or however it is
called), I have to agree with others. From my observation & recalling the
things my SIL has told me over the years, I think unless they do have like a
bad TIA, the "stages" are gradual. And from what you just experienced, any
kind of change sure doesn't help. Apparently even if we perceive it as a
positive, even temporary change. I'd love to begin to explore & utilize the
adult day care places, where she & I could at least have a break from each
other & she for her same surroundings for a few hours maybe once or twice a
week. I've been thinking she would probably like being around others where
they listen to music, do chair exercises & such. But after my observations
of the last couple of days, I just don't know. I guess we can just try & see
what happens. Obviously a time out *does* work for some people. My
suggestion is that you try it one more time. Maybe the second time, he will
be calmer. If not, then you know you can't ever try it again.

As a side note, I think it is marvelous that he thanked you for everything:)
~~~Octavia