I just read this (it's fairly long - sorry) and thought it quite funny.
Enjoy.  Galena

The Great Conspiracy

We Must Stop This immediately! Have you ever noticed that
when you're of a certain age, everything seems uphill from
where you are? Stairs are steeper. Groceries are heavier.
And, everything is farther away.. Yesterday I walked to the
corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street
had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially
the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you
ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves,
endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red
in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same
age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older
than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she
has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my
hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own
reflection........Well, REALLY NOW- even mirrors are not
made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast today! You're risking
life and limb if you just happen to pull onto the freeway in
front of them.. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out
awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my
rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why
else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12
dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these
things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and
bosom?

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same
prank, but in reverse. Do they think I actually "believe"
the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself
weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're
fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's
going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy
too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that
no one could ever find a number in here!

All I can do is pass along this warning: Maturity is under
attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon
"everyone" will have to suffer these awful indignities.

[Courtesy of AndyChaps]