Hello all,

I've been quiet recently because my dad went back in hospital last Thursday.
His pacemaker was infected, so it had to be removed (friday) and new one put
in (yesterday) in new location, plus lots of antibiotics, dressing changes,
close monitoring of blood sugar (diabetic), etc. So I have been living with
Mom, taking her back and forth to hospital, taking her to all meals or
having someone else do so, coordinating his care with nurses and docs (he
has three -- surgeon, cardiologist and infection specialist!), not to
mention running my business and own household, including inlaws visiting
from up north!

Plan is that he will be discharged tomorrow, with home health nurses coming
in for dressing changes, but he won't be driving for at least two weeks, so
I won't be totally "off the hook."

Later next week one of Dad's best friends and I are going to sit down with
him for an "intervention" about Assisted Living. If he weren't there, Mom
would be well past point for it, and he is not doing what needs to be done.
House is downright unsanitary (may be cause of his infection), they are
eating nothing but Lean Cuisines, and she is bathing once a week. He is not
paying any attention to her needs at all. (He does not prompt her to bathe,
eat, take meds, anything -- and from a week, I know how much prompting she
needs!)

I have located a place that could take them immediately in a 2-BR apt, with
all meals provided and health staff onsite, that is within their means. Mom
could get additional AL type services, such as bathing assistance, while
continuing to live with him. (All beds are licensed for either independent
or AL, so as he needs more care, he can get it too.)  I know the
administrator well and it is less than a mile from my home.

I mentioned idea last week when Dad first learned he was going back in
hospital, and he was adamant that they should stay where they are to build
more equity in home. I could care less about that -- I want them to be
healthy and well cared for. If Dad wants to go to hell in a handbasket (you
don't WANT to know all the sugary goodies he has in the house with both of
them diabetic!), I can hardly stop him, but Mom is trying hard to stay
healthy as she can and he's not helping. My brother suggests just telling
him "Mom's moving into AL. Are you going with her or not?" (I do have legal
power to do that -- but oh the World War III!!!!)

Any suggestions on how to approach him? We've discussed this some here
before -- but I need another pep talk please!

Songbird