over one thing, I wouldn't think so ....   definitely want to make a point
of not being a party to anything ongoing of that sort that your sister might
do though .... and of course, document anything and everything that you know
of as it happens ... never know when it might come in handy ... and if you
never need it, what have you lost by having kept notes? just a bit of time

I'm thinking it may be a good time to consult
an attorney.

I don't understand about your dad...in my
state (Georgia) if someone is in a nursing home
with essentially no assets...the SS money must
be paid to them. The patient can keep a small
allowance each month for personals. Rosie's
account, for example...was credited $30 per
month. The remainder of the money goes to
the nursing home. Permanent residents of a
nursing home must also have Medicaid because
Medicare pays only a portion of the expenses.

As for your mother's funds... the way you have
described it...I'm thinking that's between her
and anyone she chooses to trust. IMHO...this
needs to be sorted out by an attorney...preferably
one who specializes in Elder Law.

And I strongly suggest that you return any money
you have received from the SS funds and get a
receipt for it.

I'll second that, Frederick!  Please give us an update.  I'll post an update
for Larry and me in a couple of days.  We did the driving license suspension
deed today and it's taken the stuffing out of me.  Ruth

   I can sum things up with just one sentence. "Life goes on" June has
settled in at the nursing home very well and doesn't know any other life
exists. Her condition continues to deteriorate but very slowly. She cannot
put a sentence together, and it is as if she loses the thought that the
sentence would become, before it can be delivered. She seems to have a small
stock of replies in response to things like "how are you", but beyond that
the conversation stops. She is in a wheel chair most of the time except when
they walk her every weekday. I couldn't ask for much better treatment than
she is receiving, and when I am with her I try to make as much fuss of her
as I can.  The more I see of the people who have to take care of AZ patients
the more I admire them. It's one hell of a job, and it takes special people
to be able to do it. June is completely incontinent now and does not use the
bathroom. She is toiletted in a commode at the bedside. Apart from the
mental condition and her inability to maintain vertical equilibrium, her
health at 83 is quite good.
   As for my life. I have been getting rid of an awful amount of house
hoarded items collected over almost 60 years of married life, in preparation
for selling the house and land. The bionic hip still seems to be performing
well in spite of all the lifting and pushing that I do. While down south for
a couple of months this winter I started to have some angina sensations. Not
pain, but pressure on the chest and breathlessness when I exerted myself.
On a cruise to Panama out of Galveston I was dancing up a storm one evening
and I suddenly found that I was definitely running out of steam. I went
ashore at Montego Bay, Jamaica, and consulted a cardiologist and he said I
definitely had some coronary constriction and to take it  a little easier
until I got back to Wisconsin for an angiogram. Shortened story.... I had
the angiogram on 17 March and they found a 90% blockage on one branch of one
coronary artery. So they put a stent in and I am now reborn. I walk 2 miles
a day about 5 days a week, not because I like it but because I have to keep
blood flushing through the stent and prevent restenosis ( blocking up
again). I guess I was lucky it didn't block off completely. That might have
caused some permanent damage, but it looks as if I have avoided that. The
cardiac surgeon said the rest of the plumbing was in good shape. I feel very
lucky to live in an age when such running maintenance is possible. Stents
seem to be taking over from bypass operations unless the constriction or
blockage is extensive. Certainly better than the trauma of a bypass
operation and the risk of losing ones marbles from the anesthesia.
I'm 81 this July 29th.
   I go to see June once a month and usually stay about five days. It's a
500 mile one way trip. The visits can be very tedious, but I try to make the
best of it. I can still make her laugh, and we still dance as we have done
all our life, although I do the cavorting and wheel her around and about in
her wheel chair holding both her hands. Actually it's quite effective with a
little imagination, so long as you don't mind the sacrifice of dignity,
never one of my strong suits.
   So as I said at the opening, "Life goes on" except that I have two
lives. The one I have when I am with June, and the one I have when I am not
with her. The second maintains my health, both mental and physical, and
provides a reason to stay alive. I try to make a success of each one while
maintaining their separation. So far it seems to work. I'm even learning
Spanish. My family seem to approve, and as my youngest son said "If you are
happy Dad, it will show when you see Mum and she will also benefit". In
short I can feel good and enjoy what is left. After 60 years June will
always have an honored place inside me, but the fact remains that our lives
now are separate. I strongly recommend to anyone with a spouse suffering
from AZ which might go on for many years, don't let it destroy two lives. It
need not, so long as the well being and care of the afflicted one is up
front, and not affected by the life of the unafflicted one.

So that's it.  As you see I occasionally look in at the user group to see if
there is anything on which I can help.

Best regards to all
Frederick