Boydette, I think that's about all you and your sister can do.  Good luck.
Gwen

Boydette, that is sometimes all you can do in that situation.

Ida lost 30 lbs, was living on next to no food, and was so confused she
didn't leave her house for months, was filthy from not taking a shower for
god knows how long, but she insisted on staying alone in her house till she
got to that point.   Her neighbors actually protected her in that situation.

Finally there was no more choice anymore and she absolutely had to have more
care.  But it was shameful that it got to that point first.   In our
protection of individual rights, we sometimes go too far, especially after
someone has already been diagnosed with this awful disease.

Your venting here was no problem, I assure you.    Please keep us up to date
when you can.

Dear Boydette..........Some people here will recognize me because I am an
"old-time" poster. My husband died of AD almost 4 years ago. This group was
so wonderful and supportive and I don't know how I could have gotten thru
without the wonderful posters here.   Of course, many of them are different
now, but eventually, we all get the drill!  I still check out this group
from time to time, and would love to participate at times, BUT............it
is exactly the stage of AD that you write of above that still sends chills
thru me! I went thru many of the situations that you, and others here, are
going thru. Every person afflicted with AD goes thru the stages differently.
My husband went wild! He was a very intelligent man (a schoolteacher) and in
the beginning, he still had the ability to figure out that something
terrible was happening to him. Of course, he was fast becoming paranoid and
delusional and I felt as tho I were living with 2 or perhaps 3 different
men!  Please Boydette, you do not "sound harsh" at all. Up to a certain
point, my son (bless him) and I come to the realization that save for a few
things we could do, we were powerless over my husband/his Dad. As for the
health care system, such as it is, they were of no help because "we cannot
take away a person's rights". I was told by the courts that never mind that
he behaves strangely, or talks about weird things, etc,, he is not breaking
any laws and has the right to behave this way!!! So I did a great deal of
praying, asking God to keep him safe until I could legally get him into a
hospital of some facility where he would be safe. Of course, I was his worse
enemy because I was the person who was taking away his car keys, then his
bicycle, double-bolting the doors, and whatever I could think of to keep him
safe...................Boydette, please do not be hard on yourself. You are
doing the best you can in a horrid situation, and, as you point out, there
is no one out there with solutions or help until the person is practically
comatose and/or heavily sedated. My husband became ill with this horrid
affliction some 14 years ago, and the situation is still the same so far as
outside help is concerned. Stick with the support groups because that is
where you will find your strength to do whatever needs to be done, let go of
all guilt (we did not give our LO's this disease), and recognize that you
are a wonderful, strong, loving person to even be attempting to help. My
prayers to you and all those still living with AD.

Evelyn and Queenie....I am crying so hard right now I cant really type I
just wanted to say thanks for puttin into words the horror I and my
sister are going thru...some days I cry so hard for the mom I used to
know....we always fought but we always loved each other...there have
been times when I hate her but this is worse than death at least when
someone dies its over....to watch someone change before your very eyes
is just so horrible...she keeps telling me she so lonely part of me
feels sorry for her part of me thinks she deserves whats shes getting
since she never treated anyone with kindness....but I dont have it in me
to be mean to her just because she was mean to me....tears
flowing....thanks for understanding and helping me...B

Maxine says:

Ever notice that the very people that tell you to calm down are the ones
that got you mad in the first place?