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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Alzheimer's / May 2005

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Fiirst sign of granddad being nasty

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Julian 'Penny for the guy'  Hales - 11 May 2005 20:35 GMT
Happened yesterday.....
Evelyn Ruut - 11 May 2005 21:04 GMT
"Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in
message news:a8tge.37359$a9.21845@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> Happened yesterday.....

How did you handle it Julian?   That is what is really important.

Signature

Best Regards,
Evelyn

(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox')

Julian 'Penny for the guy'  Hales - 11 May 2005 21:51 GMT
It happened when me and Anett went for a cup of tea after walking the dog,
we all had cake but Arthur left crums on the floor, so Anett said that
Arthur had made a mess on the floor, and granddad jump up, saw what it was
and said things like its only crumps not dog sh.t, i thought u meant dog
sh.t etc etc. I said that to her and me, it was a mess and then she was
German and just being polite but he wouldnt give it a rest and kept saying
he was right so i told him not to speak to her like that and we left soon
after. After that he was fine and polite as usual as normal. I even foned my
real father afterwards when i got home and they said he had been getting
nasty sometimes with them.

> "Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in
> message news:a8tge.37359$a9.21845@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
>
> (to reply to me personally, remove 'sox')
Evelyn Ruut - 11 May 2005 23:36 GMT
"Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in
message news:Veuge.37554$a9.35343@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> It happened when me and Anett went for a cup of tea after walking the dog,
> we all had cake but Arthur left crums on the floor, so Anett said that
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
> real father afterwards when i got home and they said he had been getting
> nasty sometimes with them.

Hi Julian,

That's an easy mistake to make.  When someone says the dog made a mess on
the floor it is usually the first thing you associate it with :-)

Anyway, I don't want to scare you, but getting inordinately angry for
nothing, is one of the symptoms in early stages.

The most important thing for you is not to be reactive.  Stay calm and
matter of fact about it.  Don't take anything he says as a personal offense.
Just give him a little time and he'll forget all about it.  Just my opinion,
for what it is worth.

Glad to hear you and Annet are still hanging around together.
Signature


Best Regards,
Evelyn

(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox')

Karen - 12 May 2005 04:09 GMT
I tried to look at that stage as a chance to practice my redirection
techniques but I'd be lying if I said I was always successful.  Sometimes
the only thing to do was to get away until it erased from current memory.
At least you know it won't be stored in long term memory.

One thing I used to do was bring up a topic I know my MIL would get stuck on
and gripe about that was a topic I could handle easier.  I know that sounds
like dropping a hammer on your toe to get rid of a headache.  But I could
um-hum my way through a rant about "why the news gives web site addresses
just like everyone has a computer" much easier than a rant on a more
personal topic.  This was the last resort because she was still ranting.

Karen

> Hi Julian,
>
[quoted text clipped - 11 lines]
> Glad to hear you and Annet are still hanging around together.
> > "Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote
in
> message news:Veuge.37554$a9.35343@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > It happened when me and Anett went for a cup of tea after walking the dog,
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
> > real father afterwards when i got home and they said he had been getting
> > nasty sometimes with them.
Julian 'Penny for the guy'  Hales - 12 May 2005 10:04 GMT
> I tried to look at that stage as a chance to practice my redirection
> techniques but I'd be lying if I said I was always successful.  Sometimes
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
>
> Karen

I will try that, not easy and he never has a bad word or gripe for anything,
apart from my haircut..........

> > Hi Julian,
> >
[quoted text clipped - 38 lines]
> > > real father afterwards when i got home and they said he had been getting
> > > nasty sometimes with them.
Ronny TX - 12 May 2005 16:50 GMT
Re: Fiirst sign of granddad being nasty  
Group: alt.support.alzheimers Date: Thu, May 12, 2005, 9:04am (CDT+5)
From: julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk
(Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales)
"Karen" <kk5151@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1185if3p2iull39@corp.supernews.com...
I tried to look at that stage as a chance to practice my redirection
techniques but I'd be lying if I said I was always successful. Sometimes
the only thing to do was to get away until it erased from current
memory. At least you know it won't be stored in long term memory.
One thing I used to do was bring up a topic I know my MIL would get
stuck on and gripe about that was a topic I could handle easier. I know
that sounds like dropping a hammer on your toe to get rid of a headache.
But I could um-hum my way through a rant about "why the news gives web
site addresses just like everyone has a computer" much easier than a
rant on a more personal topic. This was the last resort because she was
still ranting.
Karen

Julian:
I will try that, not easy and he never has a bad word or gripe for
anything, apart from my haircut..........

Ronny:
Now that last part about your haircut and your Grandad is really funny!
:-) LoL
Julian 'Penny for the guy'  Hales - 12 May 2005 10:04 GMT
> "Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in
> message news:Veuge.37554$a9.35343@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
[quoted text clipped - 25 lines]
> Glad to hear you and Annet are still hanging around together.
> --

Hi

Yes its a easy mistake to make, but knowing him for all these years, he
would have winked or pulled a funny face as he said it, this time it was
pure nastiness....

I take it he cant remember afterwards being nasty?

Me and Anett are really good friends, it her exam time and shes done really
well so far, so luckily i didnt screw it up for her, were out walking the
dog again later and asking granddad to come too.  I had a bad reaction to
the tetinus after the dog bite and i couldnt belive how much she cared, she
was sincerly concernd how ill i was. Im ok now but in future i think i will
not say if im ill. She worries too much. Im not used to that.

> Best Regards,
> Evelyn
>
> (to reply to me personally, remove 'sox')
Evelyn Ruut - 12 May 2005 12:27 GMT
"Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in
message news:b_Ege.38811$a9.32804@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...

Hi Julian,

> I take it he cant remember afterwards being nasty?

He can't remember anything for more than a second or two, if that, and it
will continue that way.  So if you get angry at something he did or said, he
doesn't know what you are mad at.

> Me and Anett are really good friends, it her exam time and shes done
> really
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
> will
> not say if im ill. She worries too much. Im not used to that.

Julian, you ought to let the girl fuss over you a bit :-)

We all need a little nurturing sometimes.
Signature


Best Regards,
Evelyn

(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox')

Julian 'Penny for the guy'  Hales - 12 May 2005 16:44 GMT
> "Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in
> message news:b_Ege.38811$a9.32804@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
> will continue that way.  So if you get angry at something he did or said, he
> doesn't know what you are mad at.

He had a fall a few days ago, i foun dout today so he didnt come on our
walk, he just banged his knee.  He wasnt there when i arrived, he walked to
the supermarket, he didnt know i was coming, but a neighbour (who told me
where hed gone) told him earlier i was on my way, he couldnt remember her
saying that

> > Me and Anett are really good friends, it her exam time and shes done
> > really
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
>
> Julian, you ought to let the girl fuss over you a bit :-)

I stood on some glass earlier so my foot was bleeding.........she was really
concerned and cleaned it up for me, im not used to anything like that from
my ex, she would have laughed and not cared less.  Im liking Anett look
after me!

> We all need a little nurturing sometimes.
> --
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
>
> (to reply to me personally, remove 'sox')
Ronny TX - 12 May 2005 17:43 GMT
Re: Fiirst sign of granddad being nasty  

Group: alt.support.alzheimers Date: Thu, May 12, 2005, 3:44pm (CDT+5)
From: julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk
(Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales)
"Evelyn Ruut" <mama-lionsox@hvc.rr.com> wrote in message
news:e4Hge.21662$n93.9871@twister.nyc.rr.com...
"Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote
in message news:b_Ege.38811$a9.32804@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk... (snip)

Evelyn:
Julian, you ought to let the girl fuss over you a bit :-)

Julian:
I stood on some glass earlier so my foot was bleeding.........she was
really concerned and cleaned it up for me, im not used to anything like
that from my ex, she would have laughed and not cared less. Im liking
Anett look after me!

Ronny:
See,such is really nice! LoL And I'm glad you're liking Anett looking
after you. :-) Just remember to do the same for her when she needs such.
:-)

Sorry though to hear your Grandad fell the other day and hurt his knee.
:-( Mom also fell the other day and it about scared the you know what
out of me (ha) because she fell bottom down on our back concrete steps!
Just so glad she has loved milk all of her life,so her doctor says she
has very strong bones for someone her age! :-)
Ronny TX - 12 May 2005 17:01 GMT
Re: Fiirst sign of granddad being nasty  
Group: alt.support.alzheimers Date: Thu, May 12, 2005, 11:27am (CDT+5)
From: mama-lionsox@hvc.rr.com (Evelyn Ruut)
"Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote
in message news:b_Ege.38811$a9.32804@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...

Evelyn:
Hi Julian,

Julian:
I take it he cant remember afterwards being nasty?

Evelyn:
He can't remember anything for more than a second or two, if that, and
it will continue that way. So if you get angry at something he did or
said, he doesn't know what you are mad at.

Julian:
Me and Anett are really good friends, it her exam time and shes done
really
well so far, so luckily i didnt screw it up for her, were out walking
the dog again later and asking granddad to come too. I had a bad
reaction to the tetinus after the dog bite and i couldnt belive how much
she cared, she
was sincerly concernd how ill i was. Im ok now but in future i think i
will
not say if im ill. She worries too much. Im not used to that.

Evelyn:
Julian, you ought to let the girl fuss over you a bit :-)
We all need a little nurturing sometimes.
Signature

Best Regards,
Evelyn
(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox')

Ronny:
We're going to have to figure out some way that Julian can be
comfortable with Anett fussing over him at times! :-) LoL And oh that is
nice when you have someone to do that now & then! :-)(BG)

Ronny TX - 12 May 2005 16:46 GMT
Re: Fiirst sign of granddad being nasty  

Group: alt.support.alzheimers Date: Thu, May 12, 2005, 9:04am (CDT+5)
From: julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk
(Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales)
"Evelyn Ruut" <mama-lionsox@hvc.rr.com> wrote in message
news:6Ovge.21609$n93.16129@twister.nyc.rr.com... (snip)

Hi Julian,
That's an easy mistake to make. When someone says the dog made a mess on
the floor it is usually the first thing you associate it with :-)
Anyway, I don't want to scare you, but getting inordinately angry for
nothing, is one of the symptoms in early stages.
The most important thing for you is not to be reactive. Stay calm and
matter of fact about it. Don't take anything he says as a personal
offense. Just give him a little time and he'll forget all about it. Just
my opinion, for what it is worth.
Glad to hear you and Annet are still hanging around together.
--
Julian to Evelyn:
Hi
Yes its a easy mistake to make, but knowing him for all these years, he
would have winked or pulled a funny face as he said it, this time it was
pure nastiness....
I take it he cant remember afterwards being nasty?

Ronny:
Nah,he really can't remember.

Julian to Evelyn:
Me and Anett are really good friends, it her exam time and shes done
really well so far, so luckily i didnt screw it up for her, were out
walking the dog again later and asking granddad to come too. I had a bad
reaction to the tetinus after the dog bite and i couldnt belive how much
she cared, she was sincerly concernd how ill i was. Im ok now but in
future i think i will not say if im ill. She worries too much. Im not
used to that.

Ronny:
Ah now Julian,you're supposed to let Annet baby you some. :-) And don't
you find such even the least little bit nice! LoL And remember some
people worry a bit more than others and there's not a thing you can do
about that.
Ronny TX - 12 May 2005 02:52 GMT
> Fiirst sign of granddad being nasty  
>  
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> Happened yesterday.....
> ---
Ronny:
Sorry to hear that happened. Just gotta try and keep your cool and not
take such personally as Evelyn said. Which is not always easy;but is the
best way.
Julian 'Penny for the guy'  Hales - 12 May 2005 10:04 GMT
> Fiirst sign of granddad being nasty
>
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> Happened yesterday.....
> ---
Ronny:
Sorry to hear that happened. Just gotta try and keep your cool and not
take such personally as Evelyn said. Which is not always easy;but is the
best way.

Thanks.  I know if i walk away i wont see him again, not the man i knew for
all those years.  So now we do fun things together while hes still okish
Ronny TX - 12 May 2005 16:56 GMT
Re: Fiirst sign of granddad being nasty  
Group: alt.support.alzheimers Date: Thu, May 12, 2005, 9:04am (CDT+5)
From: julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk
(Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales)
"Ronny TX" <Acts17-11@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:13923-4282B6D1-39@storefull-3331.bay.webtv.net...
Fiirst sign of granddad being nasty
Group: alt.support.alzheimers Date: Wed,
May 11, 2005, 7:35pm (CDT+5) From:
julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk
(Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales)
Happened yesterday.....
---

Ronny:
Sorry to hear that happened. Just gotta try and keep your cool and not
take such personally as Evelyn said. Which is not always easy;but is the
best way.

Julian:
Thanks. I know if i walk away i wont see him again, not the man i knew
for all those years. So now we do fun things together while hes still
okish

Ronny:
Now that's the way to look at it! :-) Enjoy what you can together now.
Like me and my Mom-she comes out to our backyard and I sit with her a
bit just to talk and she has a good time when she sees the 14 little
chickens with their Mama Hen. (ha) Not a big thing;but she enjoys such
and I enjoy seeing her enjoy such. :-) Just little things like that,that
others might take for granted;but which,I surely don't.
 
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