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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Alzheimer's / May 2005Granddad updte
While things had been ok so far, last week or so i think i had noticed him getting worse. He has a couple of people jsut call in daily to make sure hes ok. One day i called he told me that, so i said ok, then 5 minutes later, he said the same, i replied he had already told me, this went on for a toal of 5 times quickly. He also asked me if i watned to go to the shop to get some dinner, and i would say im not stopping for dinner, again he asked me over and over, until the point i swore at him. I went a couple of days later, and he said a wman was coming to cut his hair, ok i said, then he told me again minutes later and again and again.. To a point where i got a bit mad again. Now i feel really bad, it didnt help that my back has been v v painful, little sleep etc, but thats no excuse. I was even nasty to him while i was visiting him with the German girl. I made a cup of coffee for us when we arrived and the minute we sat down, he asked her if she wanted a drink, and i said are you blind i just made her one. Im taking him out at the weekend with her, the dog to some woodland for a long walk, and a spot of lunch. IS there a way i can bite my tongue when he keeps repeating things? Otherwise i think its better for him if i dont see him, i dont want to upset him further. Apart from these things hes ok, still eating and looking after himself, i dont kow if this disease causes good and bad days, so maybe they were just bad days and not the start of a fast decline. Anett knows how close i am to me, and she has met him many times now, and she knows its upsetting me that im nasty to him. (been up sinec 1am with back ache now) thanks On Tue, 26 Apr 2005 05:47:11 GMT in alt.support.alzheimers, "Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote: > IS there a way i can bite my tongue when he keeps repeating things? keep repeating to yourself, "it's not him, it's the disease. his brain is damaged." the best tactic when an AD person starts to obsess is to change the topic, divert their attention, find them something so attractive the forget about the obsession, at least for a while. > On Tue, 26 Apr 2005 05:47:11 GMT in alt.support.alzheimers, > "Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > the topic, divert their attention, find them something so > attractive the forget about the obsession, at least for a while. Yes i brought other things up, but i gave it 5 min and he asked the same question.....does he remember me being nasty to him? i guess he would. On Tue, 26 Apr 2005 19:33:50 GMT in alt.support.alzheimers, "Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote: > Yes i brought other things up, but i gave it 5 min and he asked the same > question.....does he remember me being nasty to him? i guess he would. the one forgiving thing about this disease is that they often don't remember something unpleasant that was done or said. unfortunately, they often DO remember unpleasant emotions, just not why they were angry or upset. evelyn got it right with her suggestion that you divert him with a question about the past, which he CAN remember. try to find his favorite topics about "the old days" and get out his photo albums, which can be great distractors. > On Tue, 26 Apr 2005 19:33:50 GMT in alt.support.alzheimers, > "Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > his favorite topics about "the old days" and get out his photo > albums, which can be great distractors. We talk about the old times all the time, it never bores me. Hi Dennis, It's so hard when the patient is someone you love. Someone you remember as being very smart, who raised you and cared for you. My mother has altzheimer's. I hate it. She is not herself at all. Again, please try to remember it is the disease, not your mother, father, grandfather, whoever...is speaking. It's this insidious disease. It's very hard. Let us hope that the doctors find a cure - before we get it! Barb > On Tue, 26 Apr 2005 05:47:11 GMT in alt.support.alzheimers, > "Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > the topic, divert their attention, find them something so > attractive the forget about the obsession, at least for a while. "Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:zBkbe.153483$Nr5.147553@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk... > While things had been ok so far, last week or so i think i had noticed him > getting worse. [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > > thanks Julian, is he on any medication, such as Aricept? But it sounds like he is experiencing a decline, this is quite common it seem to me, there is a plateau, then a rapid decline to the next plateau, and so on. Yes it can be really difficult not to get annoyed, but there is no point, and you are the one that has to accommodate him, he simpky *cannot* accommodate you. Now might be the time to be researching local homes, and also contacting social services if he doesnt have anyone assigned. He may not be able to live on his own much more, think about how you could cope with ordinary stuff like shopping and cooking if you couldnt remember what happened literally 2 minutes ago.  SignatureTumbleweed email replies not necessary but to contact use; tumbleweednews at hotmail dot com > Julian, is he on any medication, such as Aricept? But it sounds like he is > experiencing a decline, this is quite common it seem to me, there is a > plateau, then a rapid decline to the next plateau, and so on. Yes hes on meds, i have just asked Anett to remind me to make a note when i go on THur. > Yes it can be really difficult not to get annoyed, but there is no point, > and you are the one that has to accommodate him, he simpky *cannot* [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > stuff like shopping and cooking if you couldnt remember what happened > literally 2 minutes ago. I will speak to his neighbour who calls in everyday. He can still cook a meal etc, i havent seen anything to cause my concern for his safety. Yes anyway. I know he wont get better, only worse, i just hope he doesnt realise he is getting worse as maybe that would make him upset, it would me. Will he feel a burden on my family? > -- > Tumbleweed > > email replies not necessary but to contact use; > tumbleweednews at hotmail dot com "Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:uOwbe.156237$Nr5.149913@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk... >> Julian, is he on any medication, such as Aricept? But it sounds like he >> is [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > I will speak to his neighbour who calls in everyday. If the neighbour calls in every day, then helping him with pills is one of the most useful things they can do. Very common for patients to start taking their medicine erratically, since they cant recall if they took it, and dont know what day or perhaps what time it is. So they might take several in a day, or none. > He can still cook a meal etc, i havent seen anything to cause my concern > for > his safety. Yes anyway. Be prepared for disasters. Does he have his name and address on him? First major sign with my father was when he forgot where I lived, luckily he managed to get back home. Later he would forget where he lived and get back home by asking people for instructions, which would get him a few hundred yards and then he'd ask again, reading his address from a note. Shortly after that he went into a home. We only found out about the getting lost stuff (long story) after he was in the home. > I know he wont get better, only worse, i just hope he doesnt realise he is > getting worse as maybe that would make him upset, it would me. Will he > feel > a burden on my family? Maybe. But maybe he won't realise, or even if he does he'll forget. In rare moment of clarity, my father once said to me, "I know I've got really bad memory problems but I'm not worried about it because I forget about them". He was aware of the irony when he said that. SignatureTumbleweed email replies not necessary but to contact use; tumbleweednews at hotmail dot com > "Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in > message news:uOwbe.156237$Nr5.149913@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk... [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > know what day or perhaps what time it is. So they might take several in a > day, or none. Hes ok with his meds so far. > > He can still cook a meal etc, i havent seen anything to cause my concern > > for [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > after that he went into a home. We only found out about the getting lost > stuff (long story) after he was in the home. He wantaed to walk a mile back from the pub the other week when i took him there to meet Anetts family, i was worried but he wasnt, he knew the way, in the end i gave him a lift. > > I know he wont get better, only worse, i just hope he doesnt realise he is > > getting worse as maybe that would make him upset, it would me. Will he [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > memory problems but I'm not worried about it because I forget about them". > He was aware of the irony when he said that. I dont know wether to laugh or cry at that. Its the way my memory is so bad, i forget things in minutes, like talkin the clean washing upstairs but walk straight past it, so i make notes on a pad, but then forget to look at the pad. > -- > Tumbleweed > > email replies not necessary but to contact use; > tumbleweednews at hotmail dot com "Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:zBkbe.153483$Nr5.147553@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk... > While things had been ok so far, last week or so i think i had noticed him > getting worse. [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > > thanks Dear Julian, (So sorry to hear that your back is acting up) Julian, that is how Ida was when we first discovered she was starting to get alzheimers. What I am about to write to you is the single most important piece of advice a caregiver can possibly grasp. It is the secret, the clue, the real truth about alzheimers disease. People here told me this and it was the very hardest thing to understand, and now I am going to tell it to you: ******** To HIM it is the VERY FIRST time he is asking you, EVERY single time. Even if he says the same thing to you a hundred or a thousand times a day, he has NO way of remembering that he asked you ONE second ago, or how many times he has been told. You are still expecting him to be "normal" and to be able to carry on normal day to day conversations without a problem. Those days are gone forever, and the repetitions will get worse and worse. Every conversation will be like that. ******* OK now that I have said it, I absolutely know it will drive you crazy and it will make you angry, but that doesn't help your grandad a bit, nor will it help you deal with it. You will repeat yourself over and over, sayin the same things till you could scream. But DON'T GET ANGRY. Grandad can't help it. His brain doesn't hold things anymore. That is the very nature of the illness. Now here's another piece of advice: He is going to be able (for quite a while) to remember OLD times so if you want to have a conversation with him, ask him about his childhood or his youth. Those memories will be the last things to go. But if you want him to remember that he just told you he was getting a haircut about twenty times already, he just CAN'T do it. The cells in the brain that hold the short term memory are GONE. So GRIT your teeth, smile, and answer him again for the umpteenth time and be ready to do it umpteen more. It is like a water torture sometimes, by its relentlessness, but it isn't his fault. You should print this up, pin it on your wall, and read it every day. It is the one single truth about Alzheimers disease that will get you through one more repetition of some silly thing. We tried making notes, everything. Nothing worked but just trying to change the subject. Ask him about something from a long time ago, how he met your grandma, anything. And grit your teeth and answer him nicely yet again when he asks you if you want a cup of tea for the 50th time that day. SignatureBest Regards, Evelyn (to reply personally, remove 'sox') > Dear Julian, > > (So sorry to hear that your back is acting up) Its not too bad now, i drove other to see Anett and woke her up!! (how rotten of me!) > Julian, that is how Ida was when we first discovered she was starting to get > alzheimers. [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > and the repetitions will get worse and worse. Every conversation will be > like that. OK so he doesnt think he has already told me, he is just being nice and telling me for 'the first time' > ******* > [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > grandma, anything. And grit your teeth and answer him nicely yet again > when he asks you if you want a cup of tea for the 50th time that day. I will see how it goes Thur. I really need to be strong and there for him, i hate it cos hes not the man i have known for the past 35 years. > -- > Best Regards, > Evelyn > > (to reply personally, remove 'sox') Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales wrote: > I will see how it goes Thur. I really need to be strong and there for him, i > hate it cos hes not the man i have known for the past 35 years. To me, that is one of the most disheartening aspects of this horrible disease for the friends and family of the victim. The people we know cease to exist, and their places are taken by strangers with ever-decreasing skills, memories and capabilities. Beth SignatureDon't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain > Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales wrote: > > I will see how it goes Thur. I really need to be strong and there for him, i [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Beth I hate it, hell knows why it effects so many good people who dont deserve it. > -- > Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you > nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain >> To me, that is one of the most disheartening aspects of this horrible >> disease for the friends and family of the victim. The people we know >> cease to exist, and their places are taken by strangers with >> ever-decreasing skills, memories and capabilities. As one of those people, I'd rather you changed that last sentence to something like: "The people we know still exist, albeit they have become foreign to us -- and us to them. While they seem more like strangers these days with their ever-decreasing skills, memories and capabilities, they exist still in our memories." I am off to visit my parents tomorrow -- probably for the last time. It's a difficult decision; they will certainly notice the difference since my visit last year. - Mind control is being able to make all the voices in your head take turns. Mod as a hooter! "Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:vKwbe.156231$Nr5.79447@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk... >> Dear Julian, >> [quoted text clipped - 80 lines] > i > hate it cos hes not the man i have known for the past 35 years. Julian dear, it wrenched my heart to read that, because it is true, and he will never be that person again. Ida never was, but there were occasional glimmers of the old Ida. SignatureBest Regards, Evelyn (to reply personally, remove 'sox') > "Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in > message news:vKwbe.156231$Nr5.79447@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk... > Julian dear, it wrenched my heart to read that, because it is true, and he > will never be that person again. Ida never was, but there were occasional > glimmers of the old Ida. Im going to get him give me a hand on my car soon, when the weather is nice, we can talk at the same time, i got the clutch fixed finally so we can do day trips to the countryside. He will like that i think. I was telling Anett at the weekend how neitehr of my parents wanted me when they divorced when i was 2, an di was raised by my grandparents, all the family problems i had, and that the 1 or 2 mistakes i made in my life, where my parents didnt want to know, my grandparents stood by me, which is why im so close to him. Even the time i was 19 and addicted to gambling so much so i stole a huge amount of money off them, my nan got me a appointment with gambers anonymouse, my granddad kicked me out, but gave me one of his cars (had 2 at the time as they had a corner shop) so i coud get a job window cleaning and do something useful. They took me back when someone stole and smashed the car up. It was them who helped me get back from Africa when my passport, money, clothes etc were stolen and i had nothing, my parents wouldnt even take the call from the British Embassy. Not just me, but they helped a ex who im stil friends with when she was raped when i was at work.. I could list many more where they helped me, or just was there for me, my first split with a girl when i was a teenager.....some silly things i guess.....im lucky, some people have no one, i had the best grandparents in the world. I remember them coming to see me in the cubs in the 70's. I vagely remember my granddad winning something at the carinval in a plate smashing thing, then when my nan died in 2001 he gave me a box, it was some silver spoons, the prize he won more than 20 years beforehand. with a note from my nan, saying for Julain, with the date and what they were. Im back, got tears in my eyes, becuase of the happy memories. My granddad took me fishing at weekends, they used to shut the shop half day Sat, hook up the caravan and goto a campsite, i would play in the field then goto bed, be woke up at 4am with a cup of tea, go fishing and come back with him around 12pm with nan doing dinner, everytime i smell the bottled camping gas it takes me back that. I will always have those memories. > -- > Best Regards, > Evelyn > > (to reply personally, remove 'sox') "Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:5gFbe.158143$Nr5.121717@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk... >> "Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote >> in [quoted text clipped - 54 lines] > > I will always have those memories. Yes, you will have them. I got a bit misty just reading your post, Julian. OK now here's what came into my head as I finished reading it; Your grandparents had such wonderful patience with you when you got into scrapes, so now you are going to have the chance to pay it back. Tell yourself over and over every time you hear a repeated question that *he* thinks he is asking it for the very first time. Do what Ronny suggested and get away for a few minutes somehow, if it gets annoying. I hope your back gets better. SignatureBest Regards, Evelyn (to reply personally, remove 'sox') > Yes, you will have them. I got a bit misty just reading your post, Julian. > [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > > (to reply personally, remove 'sox') Your right Evelyn, my nan would turn in her grave if she saw me treat my granddad the way i have been, she knew what he had just before she died and im sure she would want me to be there for him, wether for him to offer to make me dinner or cups of tea all day long or just do things together, they raised me better than the way i have recently behaved to him. I guess its my problem to sort out, but i may need to pop back and ask for further advice, i cant read all the posts here daily, its too upsetting, guess im a coward. We went to the doc today, hes refering me back to the specialist, but said the waiting list is upto 2 years, i said i wouldnt expect miracles as nothing worked when i saw them about 6 years ago. Anett wants me to see a specialist in Germany, be seen within 2 weeks there but i said no. Im out with her Thur night as its my 34th on Fri so were going out celebrating, well im out drowning my sorrows at feeling old......but wtih a very beutiful 23 year old on my arm. "Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales" <julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:6YTbe.161648$Nr5.92566@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk... > Your right Evelyn, my nan would turn in her grave if she saw me treat my > granddad the way i have been, she knew what he had just before she died [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > a > very beutiful 23 year old on my arm. Happy birthday, Julian. You are just the same age as my youngest son. Julian, PLEASE consider doing what Annet suggests. You really can't go on just taking pills and hurting like that. You need serious diagnostics and some serious plan on how to deal with this. Back pain is a terrible thing and I know several people who are dealing with it on a regular long term basis. It can be just hellish. There are some good treatments available now that they didn't do 6 years ago. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don't. I think you should go to Germany as soon as you can get an appointment. One woman I know has had a new treatment. They identify the area of painful nerve where the problem is and they give you a shot there that kills the pain. If it works, they give you a second shot that kills that nerve so you don't have pain there anymore. SignatureBest Regards, Evelyn (to reply personally, remove 'sox') Julian-- Do think seriously about at least having someone look at your back in Germany..I've had 2 back surgeries. Though not perfect it has made life tolerable. .I'm sure there are good Drs there & With Anett at your side to speak & interpret for you, what harm to have a look.see? > Julian-- > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > .I'm sure there are good Drs there & With Anett at your side to speak > & interpret for you, what harm to have a look.see? Lots of people in the UK are off to Europe, its damn quicker and better. I think i would have to be marrid to her to get it free but i knew that the NHS was willing to pay half as the waiting lists are so long, dont belive what blair says, they are longer not shorter. Im still waiting over a year to get the abcess in my brain removed. It ruins my good looks and great hair style.......(yeah right) > Happy birthday, Julian. You are just the same age as my youngest son. > [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > > (to reply personally, remove 'sox') I asked my doc if there had been any new developments in 6 years and he said no, but see what a specialest says. Been up again since 3am, but its not just my back, also my head or whats inside. If i was one of my rescue animals in this much pain, i would have it put down, without a 2nd thought hand have done many times. Re: Granddad updte Group: alt.support.alzheimers Date: Wed, Apr 27, 2005, 10:00pm (CDT+5) From: julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk (Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales) Yes, you will have them. I got a bit misty just reading your post, Julian. OK now here's what came into my head as I finished reading it; Your grandparents had such wonderful patience with you when you got into scrapes, so now you are going to have the chance to pay it back. Tell yourself over and over every time you hear a repeated question that *he* thinks he is asking it for the very first time. Do what Ronny suggested and get away for a few minutes somehow, if it gets annoying. I hope your back gets better. Best Regards, Evelyn (to reply personally, remove 'sox') Julian to Evelyn: Your right Evelyn, my nan would turn in her grave if she saw me treat my granddad the way i have been, she knew what he had just before she died and im sure she would want me to be there for him, wether for him to offer to make me dinner or cups of tea all day long or just do things together, they raised me better than the way i have recently behaved to him. I guess its my problem to sort out, but i may need to pop back and ask for further advice, i cant read all the posts here daily, its too upsetting, guess im a coward. Ronny: That last part's real understandable and I'm the same way at times. Sometimes I just want to read,reply to or post what makes me feel good. Julian to Evelyn: We went to the doc today, hes refering me back to the specialist, but said the waiting list is upto 2 years, i said i wouldnt expect miracles as nothing worked when i saw them about 6 years ago. Ronny: Things can change a lot in 6 years in the medical field. And I think I have some idea why you would have to wait 2 years to see a specialist;but can you tell me why the waiting list is up to two years?! Julian to Evelyn: Anett wants me to see a specialist in Germany, be seen within 2 weeks there but i said no. Ronny: Smart girl. :-) If you can do it at all,go! Julian to Evelyn: Im out with her Thur night as its my 34th on Fri so were going out celebrating, well im out drowning my sorrows at feeling old......but wtih a very beutiful 23 year old on my arm. Ronny: Boy,you don't seem to know how good you've got it with Anett! :-) And BTW, Happy Birthday! :-) P.S. And BTW 2,34yo is not old! :-) LoL Re: Granddad updte Group: alt.support.alzheimers Date: Wed, Apr 27, 2005, 10:00pm (CDT+5) From: julianhales@blueyonder.co.uk (Julian 'Penny for the guy' Hales) Yes, you will have them. I got a bit misty just reading your post, Julian. OK now here's what came into my head as I finished reading it; Your grandparents had such wonderful patience with you when you got into scrapes, so now you are going to have the chance to pay it back. Tell yourself over and over every time you hear a repeated question that *he* thinks he is asking it for the very first time. Do what Ronny suggested and get away for a few minutes somehow, if it gets annoying. I hope your back gets better. Best Regards, Evelyn (to reply personally, remove 'sox') Julian to Evelyn: Your right Evelyn, my nan would turn in her grave if she saw me treat my granddad the way i have been, she knew what he had just before she died and im sure she would want me to be there for him, wether for him to offer to make me dinner or cups of tea all day long or just do things together, they raised me better than the way i have recently behaved to him. I guess its my problem to sort out, but i may need to pop back and ask for further advice, i cant read all the posts here daily, its too upsetting, guess im a coward. Ronny: That last part's real understandable and I'm the same way at times. Sometimes I just want to read,reply to or post what makes me feel good. Thats life! Julian to Evelyn: We went to the doc today, hes refering me back to the specialist, but said the waiting list is upto 2 years, i said i wouldnt expect miracles as nothing worked when i saw them about 6 years ago. Ronny: Things can change a lot in 6 years in the medical field. And I think I have some idea why you would have to wait 2 years to see a specialist;but can you tell me why the waiting list is up to two years?! The doc said they were longer and for spinal injuires etc its the longest, i knew last time it was 18 months. After so long they said they had spent long enough on me, cost enough and theres the door............ Julian to Evelyn: Anett wants me to see a specialist in Germany, be seen within 2 weeks there but i said no. Ronny: Smart girl. :-) If you can do it at all,go! Dont think i will...i hate hospitals and just imagine how bad a German doc could treat me know what i think of them!!! Julian to Evelyn: Im out with her Thur night as its my 34th on Fri so were going out celebrating, well im out drowning my sorrows at feeling old......but wtih a very beutiful 23 year old on my arm. Ronny: Boy,you don't seem to know how good you've got it with Anett! :-) And BTW, Happy Birthday! :-) Your right, shes the most amazing girl i have ever met, but thats not enough for how i feel. i have been doing a blog for the past couple of weeks daily, pics etc I darnt post the link here, all you guys would think im crazy in the head. Its the most detailed exact thing i have ever done. P.S. And BTW 2,34yo is not old! :-) LoL Hell i feel old.......... Good to see you back in here Julian. :-) Was just wondering about you last night! Sorry to hear your Grandpa is doing worse. :-( Don't have much to say as you've already been given a lot of good and I would just be repeating some of that. And yeah,I can understand your anger at your Grandpa not being the man he was. The person you grew up knowing. I was the same way about my Mom and still am some at times. I so wish she could still do some things like cooking and remembering all the time who I am and not getting confused about a lot;but those days are gone,so that is simply something I had to face and still have to face and no amount of anger on my part about all that will change it one bit. Gotta face that too. Sometimes when you're with your Grandpa and the repetition and such gets to be too much,then it might be best to just step outside for awhile or go to the bathroom and lock the door. (ha) I do both of those things at times when I get upset at Mom,stressed out and it helps. Just a cooling off,calming down period. Also,very good to hear your back is feeling better.:-) Julian, I don't know if this notion will help you, but it helped us. Figure out something ahead of time to focus on during your visit. Kind of like the difference between a date where you're doing something versus just sitting somewhere talking -- if things aren't clicking just right, the conversation gets awkward. An idea I got from reading an article Maureen Reagan wrote about her dad was doing jigsaw puzzles. That worked with my MIL for a couple of years, but it had to be small (100 piece) puzzles that were easy. It gave us something to distract her with ("Really? That's nice. Why don't you do the sky while I do the grass?"). It doesn't really matter that you put most of it together, you'll both enjoy the interaction. What we're doing now is sitting out on the benches at the facility she is in and enjoying a skim milk chocolate shake from Starbucks. For some reason, she really gets into stirring in the whipped cream they put on top. My MIL has always been a chocoholic and I watch her face while she drinks it to see if there is any evidence of pain. We started that after a crown fell off while she was eating and 5 minutes later she didn't remember anything was wrong. According to my dentist, cold + sweet should make any immediate problems show up. A few times we've taken her cat to visit her. She doesn't remember him but she enjoys petting him. Basically, put more planning into it than you might normally gives you something to focus on other than his repetition and gives you a ready distraction to use on him. Maybe an old photo album? This would be a good time to get those nameless strangers identified perhaps? Karen > Good to see you back in here Julian. :-) Was just wondering about you > last night! [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > > Also,very good to hear your back is feeling better.:-) > Julian, I don't know if this notion will help you, but it helped us. Figure > out something ahead of time to focus on during your visit. Kind of like the [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > > Karen I will see what i can find out when we go out for the day this week if the weather is nice, he met Anetts family the other week when they came over from Germany to visit her, he was fine then, nothing embarrasing at all or for me to worry over, its little things, if he wasnt doing well im sure the people who check up on would say something. He has the dog once a week overnight and he copes find with that, takes him to the park etc. But im thinking the things i have picked up on maybe the start of more to come. > > Good to see you back in here Julian. :-) Was just wondering about you > > last night! [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > > > > Also,very good to hear your back is feeling better.:-) > Good to see you back in here Julian. :-) Was just wondering about you > last night! Last night........oooo.....i cant remember, honest, but i guess like now at nearly 6am awake all night. > Sorry to hear your Grandpa is doing worse. :-( Don't have much to say as > you've already been given a lot of good and I would just be repeating [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > times when I get upset at Mom,stressed out and it helps. Just a cooling > off,calming down period. My nan always said when i felt like that, walk away and count to 10, but i was the type to stand my ground, my granddad taught me that, never run from your fear and always face your problems. > Also,very good to hear your back is feeling better.:-) If off to the docs in a couple of hours, the back has been crippling recentyl, so much so i ended with Anett a couple of weeks back as i felt a failure, drank a bottle of vodka and popped a whole pack of meds............just woke up next day with a even worse aching back. Were trying to give it another go, but how the hell she puts up with me screaming and crying in pain, drugged up half the time and all i can do is lie on my back in agony. See saw me swearing at my granbdad the other week, she said she knew it wasnt really me, i was tried and upset for him, it makes me mad. |
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