Thanks for asking. The answer is "busy." Mom seems to have stabilized on 10
mg Aricept. Also we are keeping her busy -- Dad is well enough now that he
is doing some supply work (he is a minister) and she is going along on
pastoral visits, helping fold bulletins, etc. That engagement seems to be
helping, probably relieving depression. Everyone in the church knows about
her problems and is very kind at including her and keeping an eye on her not
only for memory laspses but for trouble with her blood sugar or heart (she
gets woozy spells, and Dad is too preoccupied with what he is doing to help
her. Someone takes care of her or comes for me -- I go to same church.) My
frustration has been more with Dad doing too much, which I don't think is
good for his health. I am also afraid that he will later regret not spending
more time with her, but I think his frustration with her condition is part
of what makes him distract himself with work.

Example: He recently snapped at her when she asked the same question several
days in a row. "The answer is yes today, it was yes yesterday, and yes the
day before!" She buirst into tears and ran from the room. He followed her
and apologized for losing his temper. She responded, "This is just so
frustrating, not to be able to remember." His response was "tell me about
it." He is seeing himself as the victim in this. And he is -- but he lacks
compassion for her, as he always has. As my husband put it recently, "The
good news is -- your dad is back to his old self. The bad news is -- your
dad is back to his old self." I find myself in the middle all too often,
mediating between he and mom, he and the doctor, he and the world at large.

I do lurk here, but I have just bought a new house and between selling the
old one (10 days -- hurray!) and getting it ready for the home inspection
and packing both the household and my home-based business -- I read more
than I type!

Songbird