CRYING NON-STOP

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raven wing - 07 Feb 2005 22:59 GMT

Well, Mom stopped cussing and threatening on Saturday and instead cried
non-stop for TEN hours. How can someone cry that long???

It was really a toss-up whether the cursing and nasiness was worse or
the crying and moaning was worse. For two days she carried on crying
and now this afternoon she's back to being nasty. The crying was far
easier on my nerves. Two hours of her vileness and I'm ready to scream.

So what do you do when they cry like that or for that long? Just let
them?

raven

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Glenfiddich - 07 Feb 2005 23:20 GMT

>Well, Mom stopped cussing and threatening on Saturday and instead cried
>non-stop for TEN hours. How can someone cry that long???
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
>So what do you do when they cry like that or for that long? Just let
>them?

Yes - unless you can still get through to her, you can't change it.

But make sure there's no overlooked physical reason for her distress.

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Evelyn Ruut - 07 Feb 2005 23:49 GMT

> Well, Mom stopped cussing and threatening on Saturday and instead cried
> non-stop for TEN hours. How can someone cry that long???
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
>
> raven

Dear Raven,

That is an easy one. I will tell you what we did. We took her to the
doctor and got her checked out really good to rule out anything physical.
When it was clear that it was psychological distress (often happens with
alzheimers) the doctor put her on Zoloft (antidepressant). Over the years
that was increased a couple of times. It worked very well, and she was
quite emotionally comfortable and happy until at one point the delusions got
out of hand. At that point the doctor introduced an anti-psychotic
medication and that helped again to keep her emotionally comfortable.

Alzheimers is an awful ravaging illness, but thank goodness there are
medications out there to soften the misery. I took full advantage of that
fact to keep Ida as happy as we could throughout. Call your doctor right
away.

Signature

Regards,
Evelyn

(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox")

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Lesanne - 08 Feb 2005 00:18 GMT

As a nurse I have to also mention that she may be in pain, and
unable to express it verbally, or even know what is bothering
her. I agree with Evelyn. Take her to the doctor.

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Lesanne

>
> Well, Mom stopped cussing and threatening on Saturday and instead cried
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
>
> raven

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raven wing - 08 Feb 2005 13:56 GMT

Well took Mom to the doctor late yesterday and he put her on zoloft as
Evelyn said he might. After checking her all over nothing could be
found that would cause her to be in pain and cry. While the doctor was
trying to examine her she kept smacking his hand and cursed him almost
continuous saying he was trying to rape her. She was SO loud that I'm
just glad it was late in the day so the waiting room wasn't full.

He stongly advised that after we move to put her into a AD unit
somewhere. I'd already made that decision after this past week. I just
can't take it anymore. Last night she kept yelling that I was trying to
kill her because dinner was late and she was hungry. Then when I gave
her dinner she looked at it and said I was trying to feed her s*** and
proceeded to pour it on the floor and drop the plate. Then she looked
at me and laughed that taunting laugh. I swear I almost lost it. If I
could of put her in a home that minute I would of because my heart
started to pound and I ended up taking a nitro just to calm it down.

Like you, Boydette, I feel so alone in this insanity and wonder if I'll
ever have any peace in my life again. All I wanted to be was a good
caring daughter but it has ended so very badly. I know all the reasons
of why it's not my fault and it's just the disease but it's hard to get
past feeling guilty that she is like she is and I can't do anything to
really help her from etting any worse. I think, if only I was more
paient or, if only, I had taken her to different doctors. WHY is she so
angry and nasty.....I feel that deep down inside of her this is how she
really feels towards me and it just really hurts.

I'm sorry, folks, just a really bad day and venting here in this safe
place helps me get through I can't tell you how much I appreciate your
understanding.

raven

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Tumbleweed - 08 Feb 2005 15:52 GMT

> Like you, Boydette, I feel so alone in this insanity and wonder if I'll
> ever have any peace in my life again. All I wanted to be was a good
> caring daughter but it has ended so very badly.

The way to be a good caring daughter is to put her in a home where she will
be looked after better than you can alone (or even a couple of people
could), and you will also get the quality of life you need.

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Tumbleweed

email replies not necessary but to contact use;
tumbleweednews at hotmail dot com

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Evelyn Ruut - 08 Feb 2005 15:59 GMT

> Well took Mom to the doctor late yesterday and he put her on zoloft as
> Evelyn said he might. After checking her all over nothing could be
[quoted text clipped - 28 lines]
>
> raven

Dear Raven,

You poor thing, you have certainly got your hands full. I truly hope the
Zoloft will help her out like it helped Ida. I have NO idea how we would
have managed without it. By comparison Ida was WAYYYY easy to deal with,
and she never threw such tantrums, but she did have a few willful and
difficult moments.

Eventually my mother in law got all the way up to 150 mg a day, but that was
reduced back down again as her disease got worse and her aggression got
less. They also took her completely off the Risperdol as time went on too,
because it has side effects like all drugs, and ultimately it was
unnecessary.

I just want to say that you absolutely WILL get your life back, and that
feeling guilty is absolutely not in order. You didn't give her alzheimers,
and the best doctors and the best drugs in the world can't cure it. It is
a disease that has a "bad ending" built in to it, not that it is anything
you did to make it so.

If anything you should be proud what a caring and good daughter you have
been for looking after her even when her brain has deteriorated so much she
isn't anything like her real self anymore. There are plenty of daughters
who wouldn't do that no matter how well they were treated all their lives.

You will be amazed how well she will do in an alzheimer facility. I know I
was when we put Ida there. They are professionals and they know exactly
what to do and how to handle the patients there, even the difficult and
nasty ones. I have seen this firsthand. My mother in law's roommate is a
feisty and argumentative lady and the nurses know just how to distract her
skillfully, when she gets going.

I would never have such patience, nor could anyone who was related to the
person. It is different when it is a job, and you are not a relative, and
the patients seem to take suggestions to be re-directed better than from a
relative too.

Signature

Regards,
Evelyn

(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox")

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Dennis P. Harris - 08 Feb 2005 03:20 GMT

> So what do you do when they cry like that or for that long? Just let
> them?

talk to her doc about prescribing some psych meds to deal with
agitation. if the doc doesn't know what to do, get a referral to
a geriatric psyciatrist (medicare will pay). if the doc won't do
that, get a new doc.

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