Whoa Karen....quicksand...good analogy....thank you

Re: Dads ok Moms a total beotch  

Group: alt.support.alzheimers Date: Sun, Feb 20, 2005, 10:40am From:
kk5151@hotmail.com (Karen)
Sympathies. With my MIL, we had known there was a problem for a very
long time. None of the family would have anything to do with her.  
Her behaviour was so wounding that other relatives still can't stand the
idea of talking to her. Hubby (her son) says he thinks she's needed meds
for decades, but wouldn't take them. I do remember when she would get to
shrieking, her voice would bend metal.
I can tell you as the Alzheimer's has progressed she has actually become
a more pleasant person. The staff at her place tell us how sweet she is.
It's like she's forgotten everything she was angry about. I think it's
been a very healing experience for my hubby because he's finally able to
build a relationship with her that was never possible before. But I
think the only reason he is able to do so is that when she was at her
worse, he backed off and refused to let her continue to wound him. The
others that still can't talk to her kept trying beyond the point of self
preservation and still haven't recovered. In a situation like that, the
only constructive thing you can do is not let her take you down with
her. It's like trying to pull someone out of the quicksand while they
are trying to pull you in with them. And it hurts.
Karen
"Boydette" <bdetrs@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:11419-4218166C-24@storefull-3214.bay.webtv.net...
Hi Karen thanks for responding...well technically and legally she is
competent...she is suffering dementia but its not so far gone that we
can do anything about it...basically its a waiting game...She would
never take meds although I do believe she needs them...b