No one, repeat no one, repeat absolutely no one, can look after someone with
severe Az 24 x 365. It isnt possible, eventually you'll crack. I suspect
that if you say she needs to go into a home, and you are giving up, you'll
suddenly get a lot more help. There was family in the UK a few months back
who just left their father at a hospital because they said they couldnt get
the help they needed. All ofa suden it seems the social services could give
the help. I'm sure this wasnta one-off.

TJ, nobody can cope with this illness with "a very minimum of help"..... It
is a devastating awful disease and it wears the caregiver down in ways that
cannot be described.   You need ALL the help you can get and then some.

My husband and I worked together at caring for my mother in law, but both of
us were still depressed and exhausted all the time.  We barely managed to
get anything else done because it is so exhausting.    He took the "night
shift" getting up with her every time she needed to use the toilet, guiding
her back to her bed, cause she didn't remember which was her room sometimes.
He had to make sure she didn't have a wet "depend" when she went back to bed
each and every time.   She'd remove it sometimes and then wet the bed, so
you had to watch her to be sure she got back in bed OK.

Having that continually broken sleep, left him cranky and sleep deprived.
I took care of most of the day duties, and that meant meals, dressing and
undressing, etc.

But in reality both of us were on duty all the time and we were BOTH
zombiefied.   Those three and a half years were like a blur.   No social
life to speak of, and too tired to enjoy it when there was.

Please get all the help you can.  Don't give up, keep on looking and asking
for help.  Going through the caregiving experience alone has to be one of
the hardest things anyone can do.