Boydette, sometimes we all feel that way about our loved ones and I don't
blame you a bit.    The constant pressure, the relentlessness of the
disease, the fact they can't understand ANYthing anymore, the insularity of
their consciousness once the disease really takes hold..... it is wearing,
it is exhausting and we rebel against it.   It is just SOOOOO against
nature.   We feel in our hearts that it just isn't supposed to be that way.

My teacher (spiritual teacher) always told me that the only antidote for
hatred and anger is compassion.   So if you deliberately try to generate the
mind of compassion it may help alleviate that anger a little.   What I am
saying is that it has absolutely NOTHING at all to do with whether or not
they were good parents or bad ones, or whether your anger or hatred is
justified.

What it DOES have to do with is the simple fact that anger rots the vessel
that carries it.   When we are angry we feel bad inside and everyone around
us feels the anger, not just the ones who we are angry at.   When we feel
loving, we soften and feel warm and good inside and are kind to everyone,
including ourselves.

Therefore it is a very good idea to find a way to alleviate anger, justified
or not, to whomever.   When we are at peace with others we are at peace with
ourselves.   Being good to yourself is all about having peace inside.

Now, I am NOT telling you to go and be a doormat, or that your feelings are
unjustified.   I am just telling you that if you need to stay away from them
(your parents) to keep your mind at peace, or if you need a break, or you
need to vent, (here is a safe place to do it) go right on ahead.   But then
afterward, try and understand that you should let that anger go.    Not for
their sake, but for your own.

(((((((((  Boydette )))))))