started off getting a very late start on my (4+  hours each way) day trip to
deliver kid back to college (I am SO going to miss having an extra body
available to mamasit) and visit my grandmother because my MIL woke up before
I could get kid organized and out of here... could NOT convince her that
hubby was indeed here, just asleep upstairs .... she got all weepy and upset
over her perception that I was going to take kid and leave her here all
alone ...    her short term memory is SO gone now that even though she could
repeat the fact that he was  upstairs and I was NOT intent on leaving her
here all by herself, she couldnt keep it for more than about 30 seconds.

Rather than wake him up and have him be cranky (he is NOT a morning person)
I decided to relax, have a cup of coffee with her, etc....just leave later -
BUT very aware that next week when my classes start again I am NOT going to
have that luxury .... will have to be veddy veddy quiet and get the hell out
before she wakes, I guess

Anyway... not a great start to my day .... it didn't get better :(

My grandmother is in her 80s and has NOT been diagnosed with AZ, or any
other dementia ....  when last I saw her, she knew me right away, even
though I don't see her often .... was coherent, etc, etc....   Recently,
however, my sister went to see her, and called me right afterwards to tell
me that she was very worried - grandma was "right off" .... paranoid,
delusional, confused, agitated .....     and asked  me to try to "do
something" .... my uncle, who none of us have any contact with, has her POA
for personal care and so on, due to my Dad's own  problems (brain injury;
not progressive like AZ, but significant) Uncle has always been more
interested in $$$ (and illegal substances) than in family, and it shows
*sigh*  But up until this episode, G has been perfectly capable of making
her own decisions... she has a variety of health problems, but has always
been an intelligent, independent,  stubborn old bird ....was HER decision to
go into the nursing home, and she made all the arrangements and so on.

Tried to reach my uncle to ~casually~ chat about what was going on - to no
avail ... and 2 days later, apparently while still "confused", she fell and
broke her hip. Several days in hospital - and then three days ago they sent
her back to the nursing home... same facility ... but now, due to her recent
behaviour, and to the high level of physical care she will require for
weeks/months, she is in a "high need ward"

Uh huh .... very ~high need~    a locked ward, where all of the residents
appear to be in advanced stages of AZ (or whatever) .... everyone I saw in a
wheelchair, needed feeding, lots of illegible speech and crying out and so
on, and the few who did say anything want to go "home"

it was nasty .... partly to see HER there.... ESPECIALLY since during the 2
hours  I was there she was totally coherent, oriented to time and place,
knew me on sight, was able to tell me (accurately) when my brother and
sister had each visited her last, what she got for Christmas, that my uncle
had NOT been up, and that she was pissed right off that they had yet to give
her ANY of her clothes or things from the other ward, not even a pair of her
slippers, nor had anyone made arrangements for her phone or TV to be set up
"and I HAVE to call your father every morning or he worries" (damn right
*sigh*)

I got them to spring some of her clothes.... (they said it was due to flu
outbreak on the other ward and trying to reduce possibility of
contanimation; I said fine, I'd go across to the mall and come back with new
stuff; they said not necessary and made arrangements to get them)  ...and
got the contact info re: her phone and TV...will deal with that tomorrow -
if I can't get ahold of my uncle, will pay for it myself)  Don't know WHAT
I'm going to do about her teeth - apparently they've been broken since
shortly after the last time I was there, and dear old uncle has told her
"she" doesn't have the money to get them fixed (God FORBID he should spend
any of ~his inheritance~ on her - am I being too cynical? Bet that's exactly
what it is though)   But will try to get that sorted too

Stayed WAY longer than I'd intended - as in hours... and felt HORRIBLY
guilty when I left her there..  :(    Think part of the reason it was SO
nasty though, was that it was a glimpse of the future re: my MIL and I DON'T
LIKE IT. She is deteriorating rapidly right now - losing her
words/communication ability, which is particularily difficult - and a whole
lot more. We have not even put her on the list for care, because of the doc
telling us earlier this year that  her heart condition was so bad that she
didn't have long... figured we'd manage, since it was going to be for a
limited time - but...... obviously his ~prediction~ was a bit off.... she's
doing MUCH better physically these days...but has lost a lot of ground
otherwise. Pretty much decided that it's (past?) time for day care at least
for 1/2 days a week .... free up some more home care hours

I'm spending so much time and energy on helping to keep HER at home... and
in the meantime, other people are taking care of (or NOT) my grandmother -
and my father :(

And THEN I made the mistake of calling my mom who lives in the same city as
grandma, and she pulled a big ol' suck attack (she's very skilled at those)
because by the time I left it was so late that I didn't want to go back to
visit her (still had 4 hour drive thru a snow storm - and I DID see her over
Christmas!!!!!!!!!)

And THEN I finally got home (2 a.m.) to find hubby still up .... he has to
work tomorrow, and I'd talked to him several times today, so figured he'd be
in bed, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  .... he waited up to make sure I got home
safely - and to tell me that a customer/friend of ours, who had a hip
replacement and was "doing great; they moved him to rehab" when last we got
updated - died today. Apparently when they moved him to a different facility
for rehab, there was a communication error somewhere along the way and his
medications didn't go with him ....  geez, we're sorry! I feel SO bad for
his wife :(

Anyway ... naught to be done about any of it right at the moment, I
guess....  and tons to tackle tomorrow...suppose I'd better try to get some
sleep.

Sorry for the length - but maybe now I'll actually be able to sleep -   I
hope.