On January 4th, my Dad was admitted to a hospital.  When he called me to
take him to the hospital, saying he could hardly breathe, I called my sister
to let her know, and she said it was probably just Dad's panic/anxiety
attacks again.

So I called an ambulance for Dad, went to his house, picked up Mom and took
her along to the hospital so she wouldn't be left alone. Then I sat in a
crowded ER with both of them for 6 hours, because Dad was to be admitted,
but there were no free beds yet.

During that time, Mom wanted to wander around and barge into other exam
rooms to find a doctor for Dad, because she forgot that he had already been
seen.  So I had to chase her while trying to keep Dad calm and reasonably
comfortable for 6 hours.  Not an easy task since he is diabetic, hadn't
eaten all day, and in pain from the neuropathy in his legs.  As well as
worried about Mom.

All the while, I kept frantically trying to reach my sister, but she wasn't
home and had her cell phone turned off.

But, nevertheless, that day turned out to be well worth it, because when she
DID show up, she immediately offered to take Mom back home and stay with her
that night.  Sis figured we could just take turns staying with Mom until Dad
got out of the hospital....

The next morning, before 9 AM, my sister called me and said to PLEASE call
that nursing home I had mentioned earlier and get Mom into it TODAY because
Mom had had her up all night, coming into her room, rummaging through
drawers, trying to have conversations as if it were the middle of the
day...'praise the Lord, she saw the light'!  :-)

So into a nursing home Mom went, and the next morning, the nursing director
called me and said that Mom really needed to be in an "Alzheimer's lockdown"
unit, not a nursing or personal care home.  Mom had found all the exits and
didn't like the fact that her Wander Alert bracelet kept "telling" on her.
So she cut it off with a butter knife.  Then it was reattached with a cable
tie.

So Mom was moved to an Alzheimer's lockdown unit in a senior citizens'
complex.  Dad was in the hospital for a week, and was in no condition to
take care of either Mom or himself upon discharge.  So he went to the
personal care part of the same complex, and has been there ever since.  His
glucose levels are finally being checked daily, and he is now receiving
insulin injections, since apparently his oral diabetes meds are no longer
adequate.  Who knows how long this has gone on, since he can't see well
enough to take his own glucose levels, or read the results! (20/100 vision
WITH glasses).  Dad is also getting regular diabetic meals, instead of
sporadically going out to eat or trying to cook and keep Mom away from the
stove at the same time.  (She could remember that the stove was HER domain,
but not why or how to cook).

There is no way Dad would have done this on his own.  He and Mom were a
tragedy waiting to happen.  Even now, Dad wants to go home and take his wife
with him.  But he is also finding out how much it would cost to have
visiting nurses, and is gradually accepting that he just can't do this
anymore.  When we took him down to visit Mom, we explained to the staff who
Dad was, and that he had been Mom's sole caretaker up until Jan. 4.  Staff
members kept pointing to Dad, sitting there talking to Mom, and saying, "You
mean that man THERE was taking care of her all this time?  24 hours a day?!
Is he Superman in disguise, or what?"

So I guess Dad's admission to the hospital was the best thing that could
happen for both of them.  Well, really nothing about this situation could be
termed "best" so let's say it's the least awful.  They're both safe and well
cared for, Mom is clean, has her hair combed, teeth brushed, and seems to be
gaining a little sorely needed weight.  And with 24-7 staff, her wakefulness
(Mom sleeps maybe 1-2 hours a day) doesn't wear anybody out.

There's a lot more, but I've gone on and on enough for now, just wanted to
give an update.

Sarah Kanary