Hi

As eldest of 4 middle-aged offspring I am trying to sort out my mother's
financial affairs on behalf of me and siblings. My mother was diagnosed with
the disease 7 years ago (our father died some years before) and moved in to
live with my eldest sister. At the time I suggested that my mother's funds
be distribituted amongst us 4, mainly because it seemed that it was a matter
of time before our mother needed full time residential care and Social
Services would latch onto her savings. My mother's total assets amount to
only ?50,000 thereabouts (a total ball-park figure - the house was sold in
haste for peanuts, against my advice at the time, and all her savings /
insurance from father's death were put into low-risk almost
nil-interest-bearing building society accounts). To say my sisters have no
financial savvy is pretty much an understatement.

Two of my sisters accused me of being cold and mercenary, and trying to
profit from our mother's illness, the third saw my point of view. My view
was simple: our mother had always said she wanted her estate to get split 4
ways, with the hope of her money helping towards her grand-children. I saw
no point of leaving her money sitting idle waiting for the day the
government could spend it. At the time this caused a massive split amonst
us, my elder sister got power of attorney (along with the youngest sister,
who also disgareed with me) and carried on with looking after our mother. I
found their attitude frustrating - especially as between us we have chidren
who could have used some of this money (computers, musical instruments,
school trips etc) - none of us is well off. The older sister has to consult
several astrologers, and various 0890 numbers, before she will make the
simplest of decisions and has never (to my knowledge) looked at any of our
mother's finances since she moved in - thus we only found out today that she
has allowed a direct debit to continue on a joint-life insurance policy for
our parents - and he died in 1989! The other sister with power of attorney
took over the duty with absolutely no concept of what was required of her.
Quite simply they have been a disaster in respect of our mother's money
affairs - but I am the first to say they have given her total and
unconditional love and care. I certainly could not have, I'm far too
squeemish, so I'm glad I live at the other end of the country.

Our mother has recently deteriorated considerably and is now in hospital -
we spoke with her consultant last night and he made it clear that our mother
is highly unlikely to be able to go back to my sister's house. At the moment
our mother is extremely agitated whenever anybody tries to handle her,
especially nursing staff. I understand that if she is eventually deemed to
require full time hospital care (as opposed to a nursing home) then the NHS
pick up the bill - however this appears to be a minefield, with health
authorities across the country having different policies on diagnosis for
long-term care.

So, working on the scenario that our mother will have to go into a nursing
home, is it reasonable for our mother's assets to now be distribituted
amongst us, without Social Services trying to claw it back in (say) several
months time? My sisters are today all in agreement that we should have acted
along the lines I first suggested, so as far as I am concerned we need to
get moving fast - that is, if it is not too late.  My argument is that our
mother's wishes were always clear and we would not be cheating anybody at
this point ie before the doctors decide her fate.

I would appreciate any advice.

Roy