I enrolled my mother in an Adult Day Care program near home and today was her
first day. My mother is physically very capable at 77, but the Alzheimer's has
progressed to the point where she is unable to care for herself and is quite a
burden on my 84 year old father, who is the primary caregiver. We decided on 2
days a week, Tuesdays ad Thursdays, and they pick her up an dbring her home. She
is in utter denial of having a problem, and becomes agitated, angry and
depressed all at once if there is a hint that she has a problem. In her world,
the neighbor is in and out of her house and yard and messes everything up. The
poor neighbor, who she doesn't speak to, is the focus of all blame. Her father,
who has been deceased for over 50 years, is alive and well in her world, only
missing. There are an amazing number of people living in the house. Outside and
inside are interchangeable. An avid gardener for her entire life, she believes
plastic and silk flowers are real, takes potted plants out of their pots and
"replants" them in strange containers like baskets, and basically kills all
plants with too much water or too much food. Currently, she is lamenting the
loss of all of her plants to the ravages of the nasty neighbor, while the
problem with the outdoor ones is that winter is coming. She is only visiting the
house she has lived in for 53 years and her father, who has never lived in the
US, has a house within walking distance, but he never visits and she is a
prisoner, so she can't go where she wants when she wants. Never mind that I had
to track her down one cold day last month when she bolted in her pajamas and
bathrobe on a Saturday morning. She wears a tracking device, complements of the
County Sheriff's department, so we feel safer about being able to locate her if
she wanders, which is rare so far, fortunately. On the day I located her, the
Sheriff's officer was on the way and the local police were already searching, I
simply lucked out in finding her first. I am fortunate, or unfortunate as the
case may be, to be living about 10 minutes away by car, so I see my parents
daily to check on them each afternoon on the way home from work.
Anyway, she was told that she was going to the Adult Day Care Center as a
volunteer, and the Social worker was fine with that and the staff went along
with this ruse. Apparently, she was asked to help a bit, but she still felt very
bored and was angry that she had been made to go to this place. I spoke with the
Social Worker who advised that she had a difficult morning, telling staff and
others alike that she didn't belong there. In the afternoon she seemed to make
friends with some people around her, but upon her arrival home she was clearly
unhappy about the experience and stressed that she was very bored and that all
they did was sit around. I know better than to believe her completely, but I do
believe that she was bored if she was not actively involved in something almost
constantly. She is not one to sit around, generally puttering around all day.
(That would be cleaning up by emptying closets and drawers and moving things all
over the house continually, driving my father nuts, of course. And in the yard
endlessly moving things around, sweeping the driveway, lawn and garden with
whatever is handy...) What are your experiences with dealing with the transition
to Day Care? I really need this to work for both her and my father's sake.
-steve