Today was probably one of the saddest and hardest days of my life. and
I don't mean to sound melodramatic, my heart hurts if you can
understand what I mean...
The plan was for my sister to call the doc beforehand and let him know
what was happening/alert him so he could plan his approach/treatment
or what ever. Either she did not make the call or he did not get the
message.
Regardless of what happened, I ended up talking with him in front of
my Mum. I asked him (and my Mum) if I could speak with him for a
minute alone when it became apparent he was clueless. He said no, that
he didn't keep secrets from his patients, then he told me to ask my
questions.
Ok, I was not prepared for this open conversation and tripped over my
tongue a few times (my usual reaction in such a situation!). Basically
I told him of our concern about Mum's mental and physical
health...memory especially. That I had gone to a caregiver's support
group and had been advised that Mum needed to be checked out for many
things--to rule out what could be causing her problems.
In front of her, he asked me questions about the types of memory
problems, how often she had them, etc. In all fairness, he was
thorough. but it bothered me immensely that he never looked at her or
attempted to bring her into the conversation. I was watching Mum's
face and it was all I could do not to say something to him...the first
thing I saw in her eyes was pure terror! then confusion, anger, tears
welling up in her eyes and then she just seemed to shut down.
Then he turned to her and told her that before he dxd her with AD he
would run some blood work and after he got the results, he would then
do other testing (something in his office that takes about 10
minutes?)...then he told her that she might just have vascular
dementia, but he was unsure and would check her next month.
Am I over-reacting in the way he handled this? My feelings don't get
hurt easily so please be honest. I am grateful that he listened to me
and is starting testing on her, but it bothered me that he was so
"cold" (my perception, I know) in how he handled this. Deep in my
heart, I knew it was not going to be easy...I just didn't expect it to
turn out this way.
He is also ordering some type of vascular studies on her legs--her
legs are weak and it affects her balance. Today is the very first time
she said they were painful! She has always said they are tired...
I had to practically grab him from walking out so I could ask about
the meds her psychiatrist has her on...Exelon (sp?) is one of them.
All he said to her was, "Oh, so someone is already treating your
memory problems" and walked out.
Next week I will be taking her to the psychiatrist for her med
checkup. And I want to make sure those two start working together. I
had asked him about her potassium-restricted diet and he told me some
of the things for her to stay away from--I knew the usual ones, but
not about nuts. Her psychiatrist has Mum eating nuts as a snack to put
on weight.
I am so sorry this has turned out to be so long! Perhaps I should have
waited until I had time to sort through my feelings and then posted.
I just feel so full of so many feelings...
donnah