Barb,
    As an American and  former resident of the UK I'd say that refusing
your mother alcohol is probably in itself *not* an infringement of her civil
liberties.  However, it most probably is her legal right to drink unless she
has been ordered not to do so by a court, or if whe has been judged
incompetent.  Even then, while probably not being an infringement of her
civil rights, it is highly doubtful her right to drink could legally and
justifiably be taken away from her if she were living outside of a care
facility.
    Having said all of that, if the home she is in does not want her to
drink, then she may not drink...in  that environment.  The home may have a
policy regarding drink.  The home may have a policy that allows them to
manage and control the actions of their residents.  In any case, they are
fully within their rights in common law to discontinue availing their
services to your mother.  There are questions of their responsibility to
assure the health of your mother to be considered.  There also may be issues
of liabilty on their part.
    It is my opinion that anyone who reaches the age of 89 (and for that
matter even a much earlier age) should be allowed to do pretty much what
they wish to do as long as it hurts no one but themselves.  Unfortunately
the facility your mother resides  in also has the ability to decide what
they feel is best for themselves.
   If your mother is under the care of National Health you should direct
your questions to them.  Good luck!

Dennis White

...

Barb,  my father was very fond of his martinis (had a real drinking problem
at one point, was ordered off alcohol by a 'damned Muslim doctor' (Dad's
complaint, but he stopped drinking) five years ago.  He would occasionally
have one martini if we went out to dinner.

But at his last doctor appointment in July, the doctor *prescribed* ONE
martini per day, agreeing that quality of life was more important at this
stage than drawing it out longer at the expense of giving up a beloved vice
completely.

Dad seems to be able to remember most things he does every day so far, and
the ritual of making his once-a-day martini has fallen into that daily
routine.  I was nervous he'd lapse into heavy drinking, but so far he comes
in mid-afternoon, measures the vodka and vermouth into a measuring cup and
puts it into the freezer for a while, then pours it into his martini glass
and sips it while wathcing M*A*S*H reruns.

Of course, I can see a point at which this may stop working, that he may
start forgetting he's had the martini, and wanting another.  I had
considered this even before the doctor brought up the one-drink-a-day
suggestion, and I imagined making up a calendar and having him check off
'daily martini' on the calendar each day as I made the drink for him.

Your Mum may be too far advanced for that to work, but perhaps a fiction
that she's officially prescribed ONE glass of sherry each evening might
work, if the staff would keep the bottle packed away and brought out for her
one glass (I can't quite picture nursing home staff delivering an aperitif
each evening, though).

How much is she drinking? Are we talking one little glass a day or what?

Is she a diabetic?

Mary G.