Thanks to everyone for your encouragement. I went over tonight to sort out a
computer problem Dad had caused himself, and he brought up something she had
done last night where she had obviously forgotten something that had
occurred less than an hour before. He was commenting also that she lets him
make all the decisions any more -- what to eat, what to do.

It gave me the perfect opening to suggest sitting down with someone and he
was all for it, just wasn't sure how she would take it. So I launched right
in -- "Mom, I have someone I'd like you to meet." "OK."
"She works with people in town who have Alzheimer's and other forms of
memory loss like yours." "OK."
"I just thought it might be helpful to see if she has any suggestions on
things we could be doing to help you and also to let Dad know what sorts of
resources might be helpful down the road, since it's hard to know how things
might progress." "That makes sense."

Now tomorrow she may not remember the conversation. The point is that DAD
heard her agree -- he is still reluctant to "push" her into anything. I
don't mind pushing when necessary -- but it is easier to have him on my
side, feeling these are her wishes. When he and I were speaking alone, I
told him the lady would come to the house, which might be more comfortable
for Mom. "Well, yeah, it would be familiar surroundings. And she can't get
up and walk out," he said. I can no more imagine my mild-mannered mother --
even more docile now -- EVER doing anything like that, no matter the
provocation. I think there is some projection going on here -- and I have to
manage him as well as her!

Thanks for being here so I can vent!!!!

Songbird