I posted here awhile back about my parents who both were suffering from
alcohol dementia.

Since then alot has happened.  In early Aiug my dad collapsed and was
rushed to the hospital and was in ICU for about a week.  His blood
pressure was dangerously low he was dehydrated and malnourished.  He was
in kidney failure and his heartbeat was irregular.  He has since
survived the ordeal and is now in a nursing home.  For awhile there he
couldnt walk or speak.  Now he is walking some and talking although he
is very confused and makes very little sense.  During the course of his
hospital stay it was determined he has leaukemia also and they have
given him 6 months to a year to live.  Hospice care has been offered but
I am not sure what that all entails.  Could someone tell me?

My sister has gotten power of attorney to take care of their financial
matters.  She also has living wills for both of them and has decided
that it was dads wish not to be treated with what they have offered so
no treatment is being administered.

It is another story with my mom.  She forgets from day to day everything
we tell her regarding dad.  Every day she makes up stories that he was
home or they went here or there together. Senior services in my state
visited her and determined she should not be alone.  I brought her to my
home for about a week but she was constantly demanding to go home.  She
is a very hateful mean person and it was unbearable for me to have her
here.  My sister took her to her house and the same thing happened.  She
also is constantly demanding alcohol.  My sister made the decision to
let her alone for now but it is getting worse on a daily basis.  She has
good days and bad but the forgetfulness is ongoing.  Many times she will
argue with me when I try to explain where dad is.  Taking her to visit
him doesnt help cause the very next day she forgets again.  She is
constantly losing things and hiding things like money keys and bills.

We did manage to get her to the ER at the insistence of the Senior
service worker and they did a cat scan and it was okay.  They did call a
psych counselor in and he determined she is in the early stages of AZ
but it has not been determined medically yet as she has refused medical
treatment of any kind even tho they wanted to admit her for further
tests..  I made a doc appt for her and she fought me tooth and nail.
When I finally got her to go we were 10 minutes late and doc had left.
GRRR

Anyway I could use some advice and support as it is very tough dealing
with BOTH of them being sick at the same time.  Surprisingly enough my
dad has survived the alcohol withdrawal but he constantly thinks he is
drinking so we just let him think so.  What good would it do to argue
with him?

Getting guardianship is not an option at this point as she still has
lucid moments and it is my opinion she would be able to fool a judge
because she is so adamant that she can care for herself.  Besides
getting guardianship is not gonna make her behave and would only anger
her further.  Senior services has since tried to call back on her and
she refuses to cooperate by leaving the house when she knows they are
coming etc.

She has medical problems as well that need to be addressed.  Five years
ago she was diagnosed with cirrohsis (sp?) and nothing has been done
since.  She has high blood pressure which is under control with
medication but I am sure she doesnt take it like she should  She also
had a kidney infection which I made sure she took her meds when she was
here but refuses to go for a follow up visit.  What am I supposed to do?
I cant pick her up bodily and force her.  I am at my wits end.
.
Sorry this is so long and I hope yall didnt get bored before you got to
the end of my sad tale...lol....thanks in advance for any help you can
offer.

Boydette