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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Alzheimer's / October 2004It's confirmed
Got the call from the Dr. this morning and it is definitely pancreatic cancer. Meeting on Wed. to discuss palliative treatment/Hospice etc. The stent is in place and she is already starting to lose the jaundiced color.  SignatureRegards, Evelyn (to reply to me personally, remove 'sox") Oh, Evelyn - I'm so sorry. You and you husband have been so wonderful to Ida. I admire and respect your decision to seek hospice care. Trying to prolong Ida's life by treating the cancer is not in her best interest (specially after reading how Rosie is doing). We really appreciated the emotional support the entire family recieved from the hospice workers who cared for my dad. Hope it's the same for you and your loved ones. Keeping you all in thoughts and prayers. SignatureAdelle > Got the call from the Dr. this morning and it is definitely pancreatic > cancer. Meeting on Wed. to discuss palliative treatment/Hospice etc. The > stent is in place and she is already starting to lose the jaundiced color. As hard as it is to see a cancer in a positive light....this really is a blessing in many ways. Having watched my mother in law's two years in end stage AD - unable to walk, talk, feed herself, recognize anyone, do anything for herself, sleeping all day - and it just got worse and worse and worse... the "lucky" ones are those who are carried away by other illnesses before that point. Dying is often not an easy thing, but the natural end of AD is extremely brutal to watch. I'm sorry Ida's story has this end, but she can be kept comfortable and out of pain, and she will still be a little bit herself by the end. You will still have some "one" to say goodbye to rather than some "thing". Sounds like an awful thing to say, but my mother in law had so entirely vacated her body by the end, that it was just gruelling for the family, and in particular, my husband (an only child). Its a dreadful thing to essentially visit a living corpse that lives on, while everyone who loved them prays for the end and feels guilty about it. I pray that this moves swiftly, that Ida feels no pain, and her last days are filled with peace and contentment. Mary G. Mary has said it so well. Barb in UK > As hard as it is to see a cancer in a positive light....this really is > a blessing in many ways. Having watched my mother in law's two years [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > > Mary G. > Mary has said it so well. Yes. Her post was absolutely solid common sense. I needed to hear what she wrote. SignatureRegards, Evelyn (to reply to me personally, remove 'sox") > Barb in UK > [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] >> >> Mary G. Dear Evelyn, I can't add anything except to say Mary has said it all. You & Peter have been wonderful to Ida. I think of you everyday even though I so seldom write or even read the group anymore. Always, Char >>Mary has said it so well. > > Yes. Her post was absolutely solid common sense. I needed to hear what she > wrote. Char, it is wonderful to see you posting again. Thank you for the kind thoughts. :-) SignatureRegards, Evelyn (to reply to me personally, remove 'sox") > Dear Evelyn, > [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] >> Yes. Her post was absolutely solid common sense. I needed to hear what >> she wrote. > Got the call from the Dr. this morning and it is definitely pancreatic > cancer. Meeting on Wed. to discuss palliative treatment/Hospice etc. hospice folks are wonderful. i hope that you are able to make her passing peaceful. Evelyn, I am so sorry to hear about Ida. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. My mom too, is presently under Hospice care as of this week and will be assessed over the next 90 days. I can't tell you what an incredible relief it is knowing there is additional support for both her and myself. I hope you find comfort in the loving care Hospice provides for all of you, and that Ida passes peacefully and painlessly in her sleep. Pam > Got the call from the Dr. this morning and it is definitely pancreatic > cancer. Meeting on Wed. to discuss palliative treatment/Hospice etc. The > stent is in place and she is already starting to lose the jaundiced color. > Evelyn, > [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > Pam Thank you so much, Pam. So far the stent is working, but the doc tells us this will not be the case for long, as it has already spread to the liver and lymph nodes, and that this kind of cancer is known to be a very painful kind. They promise to do all they can to keep her pain free, with all they've got, towards that end. The thought of Ida being in pain just makes me a lunatic. I pray she goes quickly. I pray your mom passes gently too, Pam. I am numbed and saddened so much by this. No matter how it is "expected," it is still shocking on some level to find out that someone's passing is imminent. But like Mary said, a death from alzheimers itself is probably a lot worse. SignatureRegards, Evelyn (to reply to me personally, remove 'sox") > > Evelyn, > > [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > imminent. But like Mary said, a death from alzheimers itself is probably a > lot worse. Oh, Evelyn, I'm so sorry to read your news of Ida. One blessing in all of this, as others have noted, is that this means Ida won't spend her last days (weeks, months, years) in the really ugly end stage that many do. No one would wish for cancer, but at least pancreatic is usually very swift: as for pain management, please don' t worry a bit--hospice is usually quite well-versed in all of that. As Mary said, at least you have someone to say goodbye to at this point- as I did also. Hospice will help both of you say those goodbyes properly...don't forget to help Ida review her life in the next weeks via stories and pictures...I found it enormously helpful to remind both Mom and I of all she had experienced and who she was before AD took over her life. As you so reminded me almost 2 yrs. ago, life is impermanent, death is part of all of our lives...and so it goes. Lynn >> > Evelyn, >> > [quoted text clipped - 47 lines] > is impermanent, death is part of all of our lives...and so it goes. > Lynn Yes thanks Lynn, I am having to remind myself of that every day lately. I just can hardly believe she is going to be gone soon. The exact quote is; Everything that is born also dies change is the nature of our existence. SignatureRegards, Evelyn (to reply to me personally, remove 'sox") > Got the call from the Dr. this morning and it is definitely pancreatic > cancer. Meeting on Wed. to discuss palliative treatment/Hospice etc. The > stent is in place and she is already starting to lose the jaundiced color. Evelyn, I am so sorry to hear of this latest situation. I actually got teary reading your post. I feel like I know Ida personally, simply because of all you have written about her. I pray that her remaining days will be pain-free. You have been such a blessing to her! I know she knows this. {{{{{{{ Evelyn }}}}}}} Love, Trish >> Got the call from the Dr. this morning and it is definitely pancreatic >> cancer. Meeting on Wed. to discuss palliative treatment/Hospice etc. [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > Love, > Trish Dear Trish, Thanks so very very much for your kind thoughts and that hug which I am very much in need of just now. This life sure isn't for sissies is it? My dad who is 91 is right on the edge of vascular dementia, but for the moment seems to be OK, excepting for occasional "senior moments"..... My brother will be moving into the house to do his shopping for him and try to help out a bit in looking after him. This is a man who has been strong and fiercely independent his whole life. Admitting he needs some help seems to have been among the hardest things he has ever faced in all his 91 years. Ida is apparently comfortable and doing about the same, but we know that won't last very long as the cancer has already spread to her liver and lymph nodes. The stent is keeping her comfortable for now, but as time goes on that won't help, so they say. It just upsets me so much, she doesn't deserve to die a painful death. They assure me they can do their best to keep her pain free, but I somehow am not so sure that will be so. I pray she goes quickly and with little pain. I think I would rather hurt myself than see someone else hurting. Dealing with these elderly issues is very hard. Trish, thanks for being my friend. Hugs back at you. SignatureRegards, Evelyn (to reply to me personally, remove 'sox") Evelyn I was so sorry to hear this sad news and I hope and pray all goes well for Ida and your whole family. I know this is something I wlll have to face sooner than I can imagine as my dads leukemia worsens. I am so afraid that he will be in pain. I so know how you feel. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers Love Boydette > Evelyn > I was so sorry to hear this sad news and I hope and pray all goes well [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > Love Boydette Thanks so much, Boydette. It is nice to see you posting again. SignatureRegards, Evelyn (to reply to me personally, remove 'sox") Dear Evelyn: My 12 years of hospice experience speaking here. Please don't worry so much about Ida's pain - it can be very effectively controlled and the hospice workers who come into the NH will be Ida's advocate for pain management all the way. I can honestly say that in my time working in hospice the only people who died in pain are the ones who won't take their meds (and it's their right to make that decision). Those of us who do this work are dedicated to the idea that physical pain is not unmanagable and we do all in our power to make sure that no patient has to experience it! My thoughts are with you in this journey. I know that you will find the hospice staff to be competent and comforting. Again, if there is anything that I know that can help you, please - just ask. Susan > >> Got the call from the Dr. this morning and it is definitely pancreatic > >> cancer. Meeting on Wed. to discuss palliative treatment/Hospice etc. [quoted text clipped - 50 lines] > > (to reply to me personally, remove 'sox") > >> Got the call from the Dr. this morning and it is definitely pancreatic > >> cancer. Meeting on Wed. to discuss palliative treatment/Hospice etc. [quoted text clipped - 41 lines] > > Hugs back at you. Here's another one, just 'cause! {{{{{{{ Evelyn }}}}}}} Will be in touch, and am here if you need anything.....I know, Texas is a long way from New York, but the offer still stands. Love, Trish >> >> Got the call from the Dr. this morning and it is definitely > pancreatic [quoted text clipped - 68 lines] > Love, > Trish Trish, next time I get down to Lago Vista I will let you know. Maybe we could have lunch or something? Travel plans are completely out as of the moment though. I don't dare go anywhere. Ida is apparently right on the edge. Got two calls from the nursing home within a few minutes of each other late last night. She was OK though by the time we got there. Apparently it is going to be soon. SignatureRegards, Evelyn (to reply to me personally, remove 'sox") > >> >> Got the call from the Dr. this morning and it is definitely > > pancreatic [quoted text clipped - 75 lines] > other late last night. She was OK though by the time we got there. > Apparently it is going to be soon. I would love it. Let me know when you're coming this way. In the meantime, I will keep you, Peter, and Ida in my prayers. Love, Trish |
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