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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Alzheimer's / August 2004

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Update on Dad

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Jane Again - 20 Jul 2004 21:03 GMT
Hi Everyone,

Sorry I've not posted much lately have been busy with Dad, work, my kids,
hubby etc.  Anyway, to refresh every one's memory,  My dad is the guy who
was going in for surgery for artery transplant in his legs to avoid
amputation.  My dad is diabetic and has problems fighting off infection, and
is very slow to heal.  He also has Alzheimer's, that was pretty much
un-noticeable to us until his triple bypass three months ago.  Anyway, he
had surgery on his right leg a little over a week ago, the surgery seemed to
be a success as blood was now flowing to his feet.  It looked as though he
would loose his toes anyway, as they are so badly damaged from lack of blood
flow.   He went back to the care center after only 4 days of hospital care
and was re-admitted back to the hospital five days after returning to the
care center.  His leg had become infected and smelled pretty bad.  Due to
his diabetes, and his weak heart, the fluids are not draining properly, so
the hospital manually drained his leg.  Again it is still likely he will
lose his toes, but the surgeon still thinks the leg will heal?

I am the family member who feels this surgery is a waste of time and lots of
pain to my father that is un-necessary.  My father does not have the
strength to walk more then a couple of steps, he doesn't have the strength
to hold his own weight and learn to walk distances again.  There is so much
nerve damage in his feet and legs from the diabetes, he doesn't feel pain in
his lower limbs until the problem is beyond antibiotics, and that's how his
feet got in such poor shape in the first place.  Now only 9 days after this
first surgery he has an infection that actually smells, but no one knew
there was an infection?  That's because my dad doesn't complain because he
doesn't feel it.  This is just one leg, the other is going to need more
work, they're putting in artificial arteries in the upper leg and moving the
arteries from the upper leg to the lower one.  He'll definitely loose his
toes on the left leg, and probably on the right.

I just don't understand, and maybe I'm being selfish, why put the guy
through so much, when in reality, he'll probably lose his legs.  From what
is sounds like if they do amputate, it will be above the knees as his doctor
doesn't feel he has enough upper body strength to go through the physical
therapy to learn to use prosthetics.

Though after surgery, we didn't lose a little more of him this time around.
After his heart surgery his Alzheimer's kicked in to over drive, and it felt
like we lost so much of him.  Then he had another surgery and we lost a
little more.  So if they have to put him under more and more and more, for
his legs, then I'll probably lose him a little more each time, so he'll have
his legs, but he'll lose himself.  I'd rather have him...

Jane
Mike - 21 Jul 2004 05:54 GMT
One thing I did learn from my father's Alzheimers is that I tried to do what
was best.  Yes, I may have made some mistakes, but only through hinesight
can I see what I would have done differently.

It is hard to judge what is the right action(s).  There does come a time
when the line is being crossed.

I don't know if you are to that line yet, but it sounds like you are getting
closer.

All I can say, is when the line was crossed for my father, I did have a
sense of peace and rightness for what we did for him.  He was under hospice
for the last 7 months of his life.

- Mike, Friendswood, Texas
Jane Again - 21 Jul 2004 18:08 GMT
Hi Mike,

> One thing I did learn from my father's Alzheimers is that I tried to do what
> was best.  Yes, I may have made some mistakes, but only through hinesight
> can I see what I would have done differently.

Oh absolutley, hind site is 20/20, there are so many things we would have
done different had we known it would have come down to this...

> It is hard to judge what is the right action(s).  There does come a time
> when the line is being crossed.
>
> I don't know if you are to that line yet, but it sounds like you are getting
> closer.

Actually I don't have a lot of say.  I'm the youngest daughter I voice my
opinion, but being the "baby" that's all it is an opinion.  My Sister who is
the oldest, is taken much more seriously, my step mom, who is much younger
then my father has the ultimate voice.  My father who still has most of his
mind, has the final say, he agreed with his surgeon and his wife to go
forward.  I just support him and his decisions as much as I can, even if I
don't agree.  I don't make waves, I try not to add more stress to an already
stressful situation.  I'm still concerned with all his surgeries, that we'll
lose more and more of him.

Even typing this causes me to tear up...

Jane
Evelyn Ruut - 21 Jul 2004 19:37 GMT
> Hi Mike,
>
[quoted text clipped - 26 lines]
>
> Jane

Dear Jane,

Keep your courage up, you need to stay strong through this.   We are all
rooting for you here.

(((((( jane )))))))
Signature

Regards,
Evelyn

(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox")

Jane Again - 21 Jul 2004 21:16 GMT
"Evelyn Ruut"

> Dear Jane,
>
> Keep your courage up, you need to stay strong through this.   We are all
> rooting for you here.
>
> (((((( jane )))))))
Thanks Evelyn,

It's really tough sometimes, I think I am strong, a least for my Kid's as
they are close to my father and are having a really hard time with all of
this.  I appreciate your words of encouragement.  I'm so glad this group is
here...

Jane
Mike - 22 Jul 2004 05:37 GMT
If he is in the early stages, it sounds like it is worth the surgeries.

I was the primary decision maker for my father.  I was able to get my
brothers on board with me.

It is just hard to deal with.  My thoughts and prayers will be with you and
your father.

> "Evelyn Ruut"
>
[quoted text clipped - 12 lines]
>
> Jane
Jane Again - 24 Jul 2004 17:15 GMT
> If he is in the early stages, it sounds like it is worth the surgeries.
>
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> It is just hard to deal with.  My thoughts and prayers will be with you and
> your father.

He's in the middle stages but I honestly believe we will lose him before the
Alzheimer's takes him.  My Dad's body is about to give out from the looks of
it.  I went to see him yesterday and got a good look at his leg.  It's
pretty bad.  He's retaining ton's of fluid, which is a symptom of his heart
not working correctly, he's in a extreme amount of pain from the infections,
so he's on major amounts of pain killers.  His diabetes has gone haywire and
he now needs to see his endocrinologist to figure that out.  He looked so
old and tired.  Another honesty, I'm grateful I'm not the primary decision
maker for my Dad, I don't know if I could?

Jane
Mike - 31 Jul 2004 20:38 GMT
Just got back from the Texas hill country.... it was wonderful!

The hardest thing for me was the day to day grind.  Going to see him and
having the exact same conversation again and again.  It was almost a relief
when he didn't make sense any more.  Then I could just fully play along
instead of trying so hard to understand what he was trying to say.

- Mike, Friendswood, Texas

> > If he is in the early stages, it sounds like it is worth the surgeries.
> >
[quoted text clipped - 16 lines]
>
> Jane
Evelyn Ruut - 01 Aug 2004 03:31 GMT
> Just got back from the Texas hill country.... it was wonderful!
>
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
>
> - Mike, Friendswood, Texas

I can relate to that.  It is hardest in the beginning when the person
doesn't know what they have and doesn't understand that anything is wrong at
all.   Reality becomes skewed.   It is almost a relief when the arguments
stop.
Signature

Regards,
Evelyn

(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox")

 
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