My hub and I discussed it, and decided that it might be a good idea to go down
and stay with his folks for a month or two to help his dad out.  J (my FIL)
takes care of Dot (the AD patient) 24/7, but prior to this had no experience in
housekeeping or even taking care of himself.  We noticed while we stayed there
recently that he really doesn't know how to cook or do laundry.  While we were
there, he asked me if I could please buy Dot some new underwear, as he didn't
know what type or size, or where to shop, and her current undergarments were
getting rather ragged.  Plus, we figure he could do with some companionship and
socialization.  They live in an extremely rural area, so it's not like they
have next-door neighbors they can rely on in an emergency.

In the meantime, hub has been fretting over his parents' future.  They live on
just over a thousand acres of land, which will be deeded over to the three kids
(hub and his two brothers) after their death.  None of the kids are interested
in living on that land, so it would be sold.  But hub wants to talk to his dad
about selling some or all of it now, so the proceeds can be used for any
long-term care expenses for Dot.  We'd also like to buy or build a house in
their general area (they're in Georgia, we're in Michigan) but closer to
civilization and a hospital, where we could live with and look after them.  So
we'll have to find an appropriate time to discuss this all with J.

One of the main problems of moving the in-laws is J's massive collection of
stuff.  He's been collecting for years and years, and has everything from
antique bottles and jars, to Civil-War era medical kits and devices (left by a
great-grandfather) to Texaco memorabilia (again remnants of a relative) to
Confederate money.  A lot of the stuff is quite valuable, but we need J to
actually go through it all with us, to catalogue and inventory it.  When we
visited there recently, hub set up an inventory sheet and printed off a bunch
of copies, so that J can begin logging his stuff (age, place of origin, value,
etc) and we're slowly entering it into a computer database.  But he's got four
full rooms in his house loaded with stuff, plus a barn, a trailer and an old
school bus on his property crammed full as well.  So that'll be one of our
objectives when we go to stay with them - I can stay in the house with Dot
while J and my hub go out and started inventorying junk.  Er, collectibles, not
junk.  <g>

I found it interesting that, in recent phone conversations with hub's brothers,
neither were too clued in as to Dot's condition.  Both his brothers live in
Georgia, certainly closer to the in-laws that we are, but apparently have not
spent "quality" time with their parents of late.  They weren't aware, as we
were, that Dot cannot exit a car without assistance (can't find the door
handle), that she needs instruction at dinner (when a plate is placed before
her, she'll ask "is this OK?  Am I supposed to eat this?")  All either brother
knew is that she tends to repeat herself and tell old stories.  So they're
either in denial, or they just don't keep in close enough contact.  Granted,
they both have kids, so their visits are limited to a few hours at a time for
lunch or whatever.  Hub and I are kidless, so we stayed at the house with the
in-laws for a week solid and were witness to daily life with Dot and J.  

Anyway, this was a long-winded post with no particular point or question; but
it's been quiet, and I thought I'd update a bit.  Hub and I are fortunate that
we both work for a magazine and therefore are not restricted to any particular
location; as long as we've got a computer and an Internet connection, we can
work.  That, plus the childlessness aspect, makes us the logical candidates to
step up to the plate and help out in this case.  I must admit, it will be
difficult for me....I grew up in suburban Detroit, and the rural lifestyle may
test my patience.  Plus, I'll be leaving my family who still live here and
depend upon me and my brothers somewhat.  But, I figure, hub would do it for
me, if it was one of my parents that had AD.  Plus, his mother, Dot, has
treated me like family since the first time I met her, so I just feel in my
heart that this is the right thing for us to do.  We won't be heading South
until the Fall, as I just can't take the heat and humidity (I have Lupus, and
have had two strokes - my internal thermostat is all messed up).  

Again, apologies for the long, rambling post.  I guess I really don't have
anyone else to discuss this with that would understand.  Thanks for listening.

Oriole

Props to my peeps
And please keep your receipts
I'm a suburban homeboy.