Here's a funny story my brother's roommate told me a few months ago.
I've already bitched incessantly about my insane, HIV+, meth-using
brother and how incredibly stupid he is, but apparently his
supposedly HIV- roommate isn't any smarter.

So his roommate assaulted me by telephone as I was heading to bed
after a double shift at work.  As usual, he was complaining about
something my brother did and I didn't care but he kept yakking on
and on and on and on and on and eventually he blabbed about how
ashamed he was for having used meth again after being clean for so
many months or weeks or whatever.

After little prying by me, he finally admitted he didn't deliberately
ingest the meth, my brother and his lover/drug dealer covertly slipped
it to him.  That caught my attention, my brother's idiocy had moved
into the criminal realm, and I explained that constituted an act of
poisoning and that he should report it to the police.  He wasn't too
sure the police would take it seriously, because it wasn't the typical
case of slipping a roofie into someone's drink.  Apparently, the
crystal meth had covertly slipped its way into his rectum.

My moment of sympathy instantly evaporated, and it was at that moment
I realized how insane he was.  I'm wondering how the meth possibly
worked its way into his a.shole without him noticing it.  Was he just
sitting there watching Oprah when he suddenly became aware that there
was a quarter gram of crystal methamphetamine dissolving in his colon?