The Easter Vacation
By Rev. Sternodox

Once upon a time there was this one senator that decided he would try to
pass a law that would make it legal for everybody to vote on whether or
not to have their dicks cut off.  He thought that since America is a
democracy that it would be a good idea if everybody voted on it and that
it would prove to the world that America wasn't a fascist dictatorship.
So he got the law passed and it came time to vote but the registration
forms didn't get all mailed out in time and so there was only this one
guy that was registered and he was a homo that collected pictures of
guys getting their dicks cut off so he could jack off to them.  And so
when CNN did a straw poll of that one guy as he came out of the voting
booth everybody realized that there was a 100 percent chance (plus or
minus two percent) that everybody would have to have their dicks cut off
by Federal law.  But a loophole of the law forgot about girls not having
dicks so Congress had to pass an emergency measure allocating billions
of dollars to pay for reconstructive surgery so that these Mexican
doctors that specialized in Female to Male Trans-sexual surgery could
come in and turn all the women into men.  So they spent a collective 50
thousand hundred hours grafting dicks on to all the girls in America so
that they could then cut the dicks off and obey the letter of the law.
But there was this one girl that was a lesbian and had already got a
dick grafted on to her and so she had to get a Congressional
Dispensation allowing her to cut her dick off and then get another one
grafted on so they could cut THAT one off so she wouldn't be breaking
the law.  But she all of the sudden fell in love with the homo and so
she cut her own dick off before the Dispensation was signed and so she
got convicted of a felony and had to go to prison where two of the
guards were secret pre-operative trans-sexuals that were trying to hurry
up and sew their own dicks back on real quick before anybody found out,
so they could get them cut off again and still be legal.  But one of the
other guards that was born in Mexico but wasn't really a Mexican because
his parents were from Mongolia, saw them trying to sew their dicks back
on and blackmailed them for 88 billion thousand dollars to not tell on
them.  But the two guards were so upset about it that they accidentally
sewed the wrong dicks on them and since they were different blood types
they died of it.  Then this other loophole in the law became apparent
where the senator forgot to specify that you had to be alive to have
your dick cut off so they started in digging up everybody that was in
all the graveyards so they could cut off their dicks so that all the
states wouldn't lose Federal funding. So they were cutting off all the
dead people's dicks and having to graft dicks on all the dead people
that were girls and one of the surgeons got nausea so bad because of the
smell of operating on fifty or hundred year old corpses that he puked on
one of the other doctors and got into a giant fight with him over it and
killed him and they found out that the puking doctor was really a girl
that had pinned a fake dick onto the outside of her underwear to fake
out homos with.  So when the senator found out about it he realized that
the law wouldn't be feasible and he introduced another law to make the
first law invalid.  But by then everybody had all got their dicks cut
off except for this one guy and everybody went to that guy's house and
the girls tried to talk him into not being a homo so he could f.ck them
and the homos tried to talk him into BEING a homo so he could buttfuck
them since he was the only guy left with a dick.  But the guy had
already decided to become a eunuch so he could sing in that one choir
over in Vienna but didn't realize that they didn't have that choir any
more and when he found out he got depressed and killed himself and wrote
in his will that his dick was to be used by the girls on Mondays,
Wednesdays and Friday and by the homos on Tuesdays, Thursdays and
Saturdays.  But nobody could agree on who got to use the dick on Sundays
so they all got in a giant war and killed everybody on the whole planet.

The End